


Fight me.

by joselingering



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aromantic Character, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, Sexual Content, Smut, Violence, Violent Content, Yoonseok - Freeform, bangtan boys - Freeform, bts - Freeform, jihope - Freeform, vhope - Freeform, vhopemin, vmin - Freeform, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 03:38:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3962965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joselingering/pseuds/joselingering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoongi wants to fight every last person on the world. But first, his Bangtan colleagues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fight me.

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on aff and now cross-posting here. Even if new chapters are done, it could take a while before I unhide them.
> 
> Story is kind of non-AU and contains taejihope / vhopemin with Yoongi being involved. Yoongi is aromantic and Taehyung is demisexual here just so u know. The plot is weak as hell and is kind of going in whatever direction.
> 
> Just to be safe, I'd like to note this story in general is m rated (violence, sexual content) and warn for emetophobia in chapter 4.

"Oh but he's so quiet and reserved, I'm sure he wouldn't do more than just play around. He's a nice dude." Sounds of agreement were coming from the couch.

 _Oh fuck off._ Yoongi felt like kicking the couch over right there. Why were they whispering about him when he was a few meters away in the first place? Were they testing him? Maybe he was getting delusional, but his emotions were out of control and once his easily irritated side got triggered, it was hard to ignore those feelings and they only got worse.

Normally he'd get rid of that by pulling tricks on the others, the fun making him forget his bad mood, but now they were sitting away from him (excluding him?) while gossipping in his precense. _One more thing and I'll snap_ , he thought, though he was well aware that moment could come any moment now.

"Ssht! Hyung, he can hear us!" Fingers were pointed in Yoongi's direction, as if that was even remotely secretive. "Ooh watch out, he's getting angry now- look at his face!" Three guys were sitting on the couch, hiding their faces and giggling... too loudly in his opinion. He frowned and stared at them, because he couldn't concentrate on his work anymore. Though they were pretending to be 'caught' in the middle of their conversation, all three turned around occasionally to take a quick glance and be even more amused by Yoongi's reaction. Hoseok gave a short "pfft", Taehyung was laughing with eyes closed and low casual laughter and Jimin looked back in between his bizarre sounding snickers. Jimin showed the annoyed one a big smile on his now reddened face. Oh, how Yoongi would love to punch it.

He was pretty much done at that point. He closed his laptop - on which he tried to edit lyrics of a new song, but with no succes - and left the room. Yoongi made sure to not stomp his feet, but slam the door shut instead. Maybe that'll convince them to leave him alone.

"Fuck," he cursed as he accidently toppled over the trashcan in his bed room. The lights needed to be turned on so he slammed his hand in a direction he thought was right. His aim was indeed correct and he hated it. His former slight headache became severely worse when unintentionally looking at the ligh bulb and he thought lying in bed would be a better idea. Okay, a pillow over his head could help maybe. No, nope, okay, that just made him want to tear the feathers out so he threw it away with a thud. The sound was too soft and he really felt like punching something before he broke the place down. Why was he like this? He didnt know; he just wanted it to stop.

He groaned in frustration and sat up. He reached over to his nightstand to pick up his notebook and a pen, thinking he could continue where he left off with the lyrics. For a couple of seconds he hovered the tip above the paper, unsure of what to write down. Then he just decided to write down his greatest desire at that moment. He mentally planned a list and titled it 'To fight'. There. It looked much neater and more accomplishable on paper. He then wrote down the names of the other group members, starting with Jimin. Just to be sure he underlined it. And made the letters thicker. After that he scribbled the names of idol friends, non-idol friends, the manager of course, old friends, acquaintances and after the list was over 50 lines long he felt pretty satisfied. Now only the execution of the plan and--

Someone knocked on the door. _Shit._ He quickly bladdered through the pages until he was at a different, less personal and embarrassing one. "What is it," he asked whomever was behind the door.

Shuffling of feet was heard from the other side. "It's us, hyung." The door squeeked open slowly and Yoongi jumped up. His anger wasn't even back, it simply showed again.

"HOW many times do I need to tell you dipshits to ask before you enter my room? Hm?" He was facing three boys who looked surprisingly uncaring. Taehyung was holding onto the back of Hoseok's shirt lightly and he himself was holding onto a couple of Jimin's fingers, but they seemed more curious than hesitant or anxious about what was going to be said. The looks on their faces said "relaxed" and to fuel his bad mood, Jimin stepped inside and giggled again. "Ah come on hyung, no need to be so angry..." Yoongi heard himself make grunting noise and clenched his teeth the moment he felt the boy drape an arm around him. "Besides, we were about to apologise" he laughed. The other two scooted closer and agreed. This setting began to feel extremely uncomfortable now and if they kept getting closer like this, then. He. He needed some fresh air.

"We... really shouldn't have chatted like that around you." Hoseok began. He still had that grin on his face and 'oh my god make it stop' was all that came to mind for Yoongi. Taehyung wrapped his arms around the two dancers and gave the eldest in the room a little apologetic smile. "We're so sorry, hyung. We've been poking fun at you for days, while you were more busy than us." Jimin thought so too and added "Can you pleeaaase forgive us?"

"I..." Yoongi was in conflict; should he kick their fake sorry asses or should he just leave it be and move on? The three pulled each other closer, and Yoongi more in, until his arms were pressed to the sides his face. The singer saw something and grinned. "Yoongi-hyung, what's that in your hand??!!" Said person's eyes grew wide. Several arms were going after the notebook, though he was fairly sure they were just pretending to try, considering they failed while it was in their reach. He couldn't see who was standing where and suddenly it was getting harder to breathe. He snapped.

"Out- Get out!" he yelled. He pushed the arms away and the owners of them as well. They left the room laughing, but fell silent as Yoongi followed them. Big eyes were staring at him in confusion. "Hyung. Why are you here?" Taehyung asked. "I thought you wanted us gone", Hoseok said. The elder gave him a dry smile. "I want to take this outside." The three gave each other looks. "O-outside?" Hoseok asked. "Yup, you heard me", Yoongi said as he put on his shoes and stood up. "I need this to be settled. Fight me."


	2. Outside.

The others would have stopped him at that if Yoongi hasn't already stepped outside the dorm. Several yells of "Hyung!!" could be heard and luckily for him, he heard a clutter, meaning they were putting on their shoes. He headed down the stairs in advance to (hopefully) make them worried, upset and pissed off.

Footsteps were heard two levels above him. By the sound of it they wanted to catch up with him and bring him back, but no way he'd let that happen.

"You have no coat on, get inside!" one of them said in a tone that was somewhere in between the default one and a whisper. Yoongi looked up and grinned. "Neither do any of you." He was acting incredibly childish now, but the frustrated looks on their faces were worth it.

"Please! You'll catch a cold!" Voices were now more distinctive and he knew Hoseok said this. "You gotta catch me first" Yoongi said as he pushed the back door of the appartment open. An arm flung around his and he tried to swing it off, but instead he got dragged along and fell to the ground together with Jimin. The latter bumped his head first against the door, then the tiles on the ground outside and finally he let out a painful noise. Yoongi stared up at him for a couple of seconds, awaiting a reaction. Jimin showed him a smile - his sarcastic smile. And there it started.

"Hyung, that hurt." Jimin informed him. His hands started to grip at Yoongi's hoodie, who felt himself being turned around, so he was now lying flat on the cold ground. As he tried to struggle, a sharp pain hit his cheek. Yoongi grinned and found an opening. "I could say the same" he noted before he kicked against the other's hip. The two rolled over the ground, trying to claw at each other with their hands and kick whatever they felt.

"Guys, guys!!" he heard Hoseok yell in his direction, accompanied by footsteps. Faint noises of an upset neighbour were heard, as well as a yelp from Taehyung who quickly shut the heavy door and followed Hoseok hastily.

Yoongi and Jimin expected to be scolded by the two, but instead the first one felt a hand strike against his cheek so hard that his entire body turned away. Jimin was about to compliment that, but was met with a sudden slap of equal force to the visage. The eldest among the four was pulled away from Jimin by his hoodie and cursed as he felt himself being dragged along to a spot around the corner of the building. "We almost got in trouble with the entire building complex there", someone replied to his angry expressions. It was Hoseok. As Yoongi helplessly tried to free himself, he noticed the other two were struggling to move in the same direction.

They neared the wall of the building and he anticipated being thrown against it, but Hoseok was leaning against it, with Yoongi's back pressed to his front. "What are y--", Yoongi started, but he was cut off by the one restraining him. "Three against one, is that what you wanted?" he whispered. The 1995 duo couldn't hear what they were saying and started pushing each other around. They appeared to be bickering over acting irresponsible.

Yoongi wet his lips and grinned. He liked how everyone did what he hoped for after all. He nearly forgot in what position he was himself, until he felt his cheeks being squeezed together painfully. Hoseok continued "What is it? Don't you want to fight anymore?" Yoongi reached around him and held a strand of the boy's hair firmly, nearly yanking it out of the head. The dancer made a painful noise before asking "Do you have any idea how pissed I am at you?? You just ran off like that at night!" Yoongi's face was tilted and his neck was twisted in a seemingly impossible way. "Who do you want to fight?" he was asked. 'All of you', would be Yoongi's answer, but his vocal abilities were weaker than ever at the moment and instead of replying verbally, he dragged his nails sharply across the arm holding him. Hoseok cursed and Yoongi could escape, but only to be welcomed by a blow to his shoulder.

"Ow-- You're finally up for this?", Yoongi asked. Taehyung was standing in front of him. Yoongi couldn't tell yet how strong he was compared to the rest, but he sure was unpredictable. "No talking" the younger one grunted before they ran into each other. Taehyung was right; Yoongi was bad at talking, felt like fighting and so he should just act upon that. He may have regretted picking out at least two of the strongest people in the group, but hey, he wouldn't find out his strength otherwise right?

Limbs flung out at one another, kicking, slapping and scratching wherever possible. Taehyung's muscly boyfriends decided to join in and aimed at Yoongi. He could almost imagine the bruises that would appear soon and it only gave him more reason to lash out at the three. Taehyung got hit a few times by the dancers too, but no one probably cared about that at this point. Several things among the lines of "Don't touch my face, I'm an idol!!" were spoken but they kept hurting indiscriminately anyway.

Yoongi was lifted up again and he tried to stop it by going for the toes beneath him. They were too far away sadly and all he could do was kick in front of him. That made Jimin and Hoseok back away. Wait, was Taehyung holding him? S _hit, he too is strong_ , Yoongi thought. This kicking in the air looked pathetic to him and so did it to the others. Taehyung released him and Yoongi got hit by a fist, and a wave of adrenaline too. He kicked whoever was the culprit and elbowed the next one who tried to attack him from behind. It went on like this for a while; Yoongi hurting someone, someone else reacting to that and sometimes two of his three opponents were going for each other, though that looked less serious.

His hands were feeling numb right now. Yoongi decided to ignore that and keep punching, until they'd all grew really tired of it. Every spot in his stomach that got hit rewarded the rest with a curse or groan. The other three were pretty loud too ('of course they were') and were very good at letting out high-pitched noises at the tiniest gesture. Yoongi had a great talent too: playing dirty. He reminded himself to take advantage of that and win this seemingly impossible fight.


	3. Now.

A familiar arm swung around him again, though this time around his neck. Jimin flexed it, making the muscles bulge and give Yoongi less oppertunity to move. He did manage to higher an arm and pinch the skin on a bicep, twisting it around. The younger one shrieked and put less pressure on his grip, so Yoongi could duck and avoid the leg that was aiming for his torso. He quickly held onto the leg (Taehyung's) and made him fall onto a patch of dry grass. The fall hurt nonetheless and make Taehyung groan in pain, while his boyfriends went on with battling the one who made them come here.

It was unsure to Yoongi when it happened, but right after he heard "MIN YOONGI!!" and twitched at the lack of honorifics, he was confronted by a shirtless Jimin. Yoongi snorted at the ridiculous action for a cold night like this. They clashed into each other, ignoring the other pair who still tried to be a part of the fight. "Don't you disrespect me", Yoongi huffed. They stood in front of each other, foreheads pressed together so forcefully, that it nearly caused a headache.

The two other guys tried clinging onto their arms, making sure the fight wouldn't get out of hand. They're tired already, Yoongi thought. Admittedly, he was almost worn out too, but he still had too much pent up anger that he wanted to direct at the other's body. The muscular boy breathed loudly through his flared nostrils and pushed the taller Taehyung aside, whereas Yoongi threw his fist back rapidly in Hoseok's direction. They all heard something bump and Yoongi didn't know what he did, but frankly he did not care.

Jimin and him were too fired up to stop and so they made their way hastily, clumsily even, to somewhere else. Some place that's less cramped. Fingers were tangled in messy hair, insults exchanged and hands were trying to grab wrists, for the legs did the running. Being pressured to stumble backwards, Yoongi couldn't see where he was going, especially not at such a late hour. He took a quick glance behind him and spotted a wall made of bricks, where a street latern shed dimmed yellow light upon. 

Now he got slammed against a building for real. Yoongi coughed and tried to head forward, but got denied by another hit in his stomach. His fingers dug in Jimin's thick neck, while he kept getting beaten against the bricks. Then he was reminded the obvious thing to do. Of course. He avoided the arms that tried to hold his and went right for the two perky weaknesses in front of him. Jimin let out a yelp in surprise at the cold feeling and unclenched his fists in shock. Yoongi grinned and pinched the sensitive skin between his fingers, much tighter than was bearable, and the younger one was caught off-guard. This was chance for Yoongi to reverse their positions and he did so by stepping on his toes and kicking Jimin till he was where he wanted him to be.

Fortunately they had about the same body length, which allowed Yoongi to lift up his knee and press it between Jimin's tense legs to keep him in place. He tried to struggle and kick the leg away, but that only ensured the grip on it with his own thighs. His arms were too useless; they couldn't stop trembling. Yoongi twisted the sensitive nipples as if he was playing with the volume on a radio, but instead of music, he got to hear painful whines coming from the other's throat. "H-hyung..." he spoke, in an almost pleading way. Yoongi laughed briefly as if someone just made a joke. The tone sounded creepy to Jimin and he hated creepy.

"Not so macho now, huh?" the elder scoffed before he pushed up his knee further, making Jimin's feet helplessly search for the ground and his broad back scrape against the wall. Incoherent yells were produced by the boy and he suddenly refound some strength in his formerly limp arms. His hands were pulling on Yoongi's hair, ears, cheeks and scratching everything that could remotely hurt. Both were screaming in agony, hoping it was the other to give up first.

Yoongi could feel the cold chest rising rapidly under his fingers and they were shaking simultaneously now. To hopefully intimidate, Jimin jerked the rapper's face closer and whispered vulgar things Yoongi never thought he'd hear him say. In between his sentences, Yoongi could see puffs of cold breaths coming from the other's gaping mouth. A shiver went through Jimin's body and travelled straight to Yoongi's face, that was still held in a grip.

Yoongi didn't know how long they stood there like that, but it felt like half an hour. It probably was not even a minute. Jimin's lips began to quiver. He was obviously near his limit, they all were, but they were still looking for the right moment to halt. Jimin felt so so cold, he would probably get sick tomorrow.

Yoongi suddenly remembered were his leg was and wanted to retreat, but stopped when he heard Jimin whisper again. "Hyung... I'm c-cold..." It may have seemed this way because of the warm colours from the street light, but Jimin's face looked reddened. Probably from the temperature.

Nonetheless, the sight stimulated something new in Yoongi. Curiousity perhaps? His head was pounding from exhaustion and he 

Expression blank, he went up closer to the other's face to investigate it. Jimin's eyes, that looked in need of sleep, widened. "Yoongi... hyung...?" His voice was almost inaudible. Put on your shirt, loser, was something Yoongi would've responded with if he knew what he was doing. He didn't however and it confused him even more than his desire to beat up someone. That desire was now way beyond satisfied, and yet he remained here. He wanted to say something wise, but as he tried, his tongue accidently touched the thumb covering his mouth. None of the two knew what was purposely done or not anymore, but for some reason, the finger got pushed in further and for some other unknown reason, Yoongi pressed his tongue on it again. It tasted gross; like iron and he could only guess who had bled just before because of the guy in front of him. The dancer released the hold on the rapper's face and curiously replaced the thumb with his index finger, which had wanting lips pressed against it. Yoongi took it in (I wonder how bad this one tastes, he lied to himself) and sucked on it to get a reaction from the boy. He did: he felt something twitch against his knee and Yoongi hummed softly. He inhaled the cold air sharply through his nose and wondered how much further this would go.

Not much, it turned out. A familiar voice was calling for them from the dark. Jimin closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, holding back a curse or two. Yoongi slowly pulled back his head, letting the slicked finger go, and withdrew his hands from the abused buds. To cover up what just happened, he moved instead to the veiny neck, pretending to try to choke him. Jimin wiped his fingers off on his pants and grabbed a fistful of the material of Yoongi's hoodie and nudged him softly with his feet. Somehow they agreed this looked realistic enough and kept fake-hurting each other. They didn't expect what happened after that.

"Wah, you're dirty." For a second the two were a bit dense, probably thinking the same thing - Did they see? - but then it dawned onto them it was Bangtan's favourite inside joke. Taehyung didn't notice how long it took for the boys to get the reference and just laughed along as they collapsed, too tired and too amused to get up. Hoseok's giggling was audible too, but he was standing too far away from the light to be seen well. Jimin's eyes were teary and the muscles in Yoongi cheeks turned sore from laughter, if they weren't enough already from the violence they underwent before.

When they came back to senses, Yoongi stood up and stretched his legs. Ouch, that was too soon. Taeyung extended his hand for Jimin, who was less composed, and gasped when he felt an ice cold hand holding onto his. "Ah, Jimin, we found your shirt." He looked to his side and gestured something. Hoseok, head faced down, walked towards them slowly and held out a neatly folded piece of clothing. Grinning, Jimin complimented him with an "Ah, that's my tidy Hobi" and put the tee on with his shivering hands. Hoseok simply nodded and took Jimin's hands, warming them up with his hot breath and soft sleeves. Still no talking. This didn't seem like Hoseok at all. Furrowing his brows, Yoongi leaned over to Taehyung and asked quietly "What happened to him?". Taehyung made a thoughtful face and said "You'll see when we're inside." Yoongi, still confused, just nodded and stepped to the front.

"Shall we go?" The three responded positively and started walking.

Not much was said after that but it was understandable, considering they were freezing their asses off and tired as hell. About hundred meters before they reached the back door of the building they reside in, Yoongi looked back to see if no-one fell behind. He caught a glimpse of them all still in sight, keeping up a tempo by holding each others hands. He gulped, thinking back to what happened just before, but decided to ignore that for now. They seemed happy.

 

Back inside the dorm, Yoongi found out what was wrong. Hoseok's face looked like he had been crying and the area around his left eye was an unnatural red. This would turn purple in a couple of days and it was probably Yoongi's doing, now that he was going back through the fight in his head.

The youngest of the four were standing by the sink in the bathroom, carefully rubbing dirt and blood off their skins while trying to help each other look for missing spots. Hoseok was sitting on a stool, ice pack pressed to his face, and waiting together with Yoongi for their turns to use the sink. Yoongi's legs were about to give in any moment, but the only spot left was next to Hoseok and to be honest he thought he could face neither him nor Taehyung at the moment. Nervous and impatient, he folded his arms and closed his eyes. Tomorrow this will all be over, his mind reassured him. We might get in trouble with the manager but that's nothing compared to you playing around with people's boyfriend--

"Yoongi-hyung."

He opened his eyes. It was not tomorrow yet. It was still today and Hoseok called his name. Oh no.

Hoseok didn't expect a response and continued, "I know you feel bad about giving me a black eye."

Yoongi sighed and smiled. He was overthinking stuff and moreover, not showing enough care for his groupmate. He sat down next to the boy with the ice pack.

"But we knew this would happen."

Yoongi nodded and awkwardly played with the bath rug with his toes. How should he respond to this? He just let the guy talk.

"Besides, you needed this. I think we did too."

Yoongi looked up to his side. Hoseok shot him a beaming smile, which he got returned.

"Thank you," Yoongi spoke sincerely before wrapping the other in a hug.

"Owowow-" they both said when in pain. Bones were still too fragile and they slowly let go.

"We're done. You guys can use the sink!" Taehyung said cheerfully before jumping up and opening the door. Jimin followed him and had a secretive smirk on his face when shooting a glance at Yoongi. Hoseok was too preoccuppied with his hurting face to notice that moment.

Yoongi told the two "Good night..." but he didn't think they heard.


	4. Or.

That same night, people had to check up on Jimin a couple of times because he probably had a light concussion and was starting to feel sick. 'People' being Taehyung and Hoseok, for everyone in the dorm except the injured group members were already asleep. Jimin didn't have to be woken up regularly because he was not as vulnerable to unconsciousness as young children would be in the same situation, but he couldn't stay awake anyway because of the gross feeling in his stomach. It was safe to say Yoongi felt sorry for him, which made a great pair with the guilt pressing on his heart.

Hoseok closed the door behind him quietly and stepped in his own bed, sighing. He turned around under the covers, facing Yoongi on the other side of the room and let out a soft "oh." Yoongi, phone in hand, looked at his roommate an gave him a smirk. "Did you think I was asleep yet?" Hoseok shook his head, smiling. "No, I know you better than that." Yoongi looked at his phone he was holding. "Yeah, it's not even 4 o' clock yet." There was a short silence, apart from the elder's fingers tapping on his screen.

Not mentioning anything about the reason at least four people in the dorm were still awake would be strange, and so Yoongi thought it'd be better to talk. It will take hours for him to fall asleep anyway, especially with a pounding headache. He put his phone away and lied down, turning to face the other.

"How is he?"

Hoseok smiled slightly at the polite, but direct way of bringing it up. "He didn't throw up yet, but sometimes he needs to spit so we brought a bucket to his room. I don't think he'll get out of bed early tomorrow."

Yoongi was quiet and Hoseok quickly added "But I'm sure he'll be fine soon!"

With a raspy voice Yoongi replied "Let's hope so."

Normally they were more talkative together, but Yoongi's fear for a certain topic being brought up stood in the way. He wanted to be sure what situation he was in though and carefully asked "Did Jimin... talk to any of you or was he too ill?" Yoongi at least thought he asked it like this, but he wasn't sure. He couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and his speech was slurred.

Hoseok's breathing was still calm. That's a good thing, right? "Hm," he started, as if he was in deep thoughts. "...well, he did pester Taehyung and me about not feeding him soup, but we're not doing that at such an hour and he's probably not in his full senses." Yoongi mumbled a vague "U-huh" as he felt his consciousness slip away. _Nonono, I want to hear the rest..._

"Actually. Now, that you mention it, he..." was probably the last thing Yoongi heard before he was half asleep.

 

"Hey, hey, Suga-hyung!"

What.... Oh. Of course.

He looked around him. He was sitting in his chair, camera shoved in his face by Taehyung and Jeongguk, and the stylist looked relieved to be able to work on his hair again. He just had his individual photoshoot and was waiting for the others to be finished. _I probably fell asleep after that_ , he thought.

"Bluh, he's boring. Let's go somewhere else!" Taehyung spoke and the two ran excitedly to some other members to bother for a new Bangtan Bomb video.

"Rough night?"

Yoongi blinked a couple of times and looked to his right. _It's Namjoon._

He smiled in response, staring at nothing in particular in front of him. "Yeah, you could say that." Namjoon had an odd look on his face and moved closer, asking almost secretively "Is Jimin sick or something? He keeps sniffing and I think he barely ate this morning." Yoongi's eyes widened. _Did no-one really notice anything last night?_ Not knowing what to do, he laughed uncomfortably. "Haha, I'm sure he forgot to dress well yesterday night and now the loser's facing consequences." _Well, it's not a lie._ Namjoon nodded and started rambling about the deeper meaning behind his new track or whatever. Yoongi was too tired to pay full attention.

 

The second photo session was outside. Today was a considerably warmer day, but Jimin was wearing a thick, high collared sweater and according to Taehyung, two pairs of socks. The boy was still cheerful, but his breaths were short and the make up artists were kept busy by dabbing his damp skin. He could have suggested staying at the dorm, but Yoongi knew he didn't do that. None of them probably would do that unless it was 'really' severe, so he couldn't blame him.

"Only a couple more photos!" someone of the staff said while looking at the pictures on the screen.

Yoongi felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and was glad to see it wasn't any of the three people he tried to avoid at the moment. Grinning, he placed a hand on Jeongguk's back and showed the camera a few more facial expressions and poses.

"Done! Thank you, guys!"

Honest and relieved 'thank you's were repeated by the group, before leaving the park they were at. Gears were packed and props were taken to the building nearby, where the group would get to take a look at their photos.

 

Eyes were peeking above shoulders and hands were gently shoving away said shoulders, for everyone tried to see what the pictures were like. "Wahaha, what am I even doing here!" Seokjin said when seeing his pose. Fingers were pointing at pictures, highlighting other members and everyone was laughing along. Yoongi took a sip of his water and suddenly noticed Hoseok standing beside him. He offered his water, but it was declined. _What do I say now? What did he even say yesterday?_

"And? Have you thought about it?" Hoseok asked as he rested his underarm on Yoongi's shoulder. 'Thought about what', was he about to say but the wording in that sentence probably sounded horrible. He reformed it in his head and started "What again did y--"

A hand slapped the back of his head and he was approached by an awfully cheery Jimin, though his eyes looked watery and tired. What was the guy even so content for? "That spot hurts, you bastard," Yoongi grunted before waving his hand in the air, pretending to slap his wrist. Jimin just giggled in those irregular pitches of him and walked over to Hoseok, entangling their fingers. They were being especially touchy with Yoongi too, today, and he couldn't put his finger on the reason why. He sniffed and thought for a while.

He observed Hoseok's calm face, that had positive words coming from its lips. Eyes were squinted and laughter was heard. It was only then that Yoongi remembered to ask about something.

"Hey." Hoseok raised his eyebrows and looked at the one calling for him. "Hm?" "I know you're wearing make up and all, but..." Yoongi lowered his voice as soon as he saw staff pass by. "...how did you hide the black eye from us this morning?" Hoseok looked a bit startled at the question, but then smiled again. Was he ever not? "Oh, that. Jimin hid it with make up this morning. Didn't... I tell you?" Yoongi frowned. He couldn't bring up any memories and thus he slowly shook his head. "Hmm, you seem really out of it today," Jimin noted, Yoongi gaped at him slightly. _Am I really acting that off_ , he wondered.

 

He later on found out that yes, indeed, he was not feeling well. At the dinner table, his face felt hot and the fumes that came from his food only made it worse. He didn't look as miserable as he felt, but he knew his ability to react would turn slower and he'd be less expressive.

Some of the guys were telling a joke. Hoseok grinned widely at that, showing his big gums and covering his mouth as soon as he was reminded he was eating. Yoongi narrowed his eyes. _Wasn't there something Hoseok said yesterday?_ Something that I missed? Staring at his own food, he tried to replay last night's events.

 _Alright, so you have the three annoying me; me wanting to fight; the actual fight; .... then...... He gulped, without even having eaten anything. Images of Jimin's face flashed in his mind. Then that moment... they surely aren't acting strangely because of that, right?_ He started chewing on the inside of his cheeks nervously. _Think, Yoongi. You fought, did something shitty, you washed up, you talked with Hoseok--_

Hoseok's voice was audible and Yoongi suddenly remembered. The feeling that hit him was similar to a déjà vu, but it was in fact more of a subconscious association.

Their talk from last night replayed in his head and it was all he could focus on.

_"Actually. Now, that you mention it, he did say something important."_

_Why couldn't he recall this sooner?_

_"He... told me what happened. He told me what you two did."_

_The room was dark and it was impossible to tell if Hoseok's calm voice was meant treathening or reassuring._

_"I'm not mad at you."_

_"...."_

_"To be honest though, I'm glad nothing big happened. But I'm even more glad that Jimin told me so soon."_

_Yoongi stared up at the ceiling, unsure of how to respond. He probably couldn't-- shouldn't._

_"We have talked about this before, of course. About you, but also other people in general."_

_"...Uh..."_

_"If it was just something... without meaning... Ah, that sounds bad. Just let us know what you want."_

_"I- I have to... yeah.... sure.... " He mixed up saying 'Yeah I'm up for this' and 'I have to think about it',' but was too sleepdrunk to even comprehend his own words._

_"Alright. You sound tired. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?"_

_"...'kay..."_

Yoongi didn't realize he was still staring at his plate. Seokjin moved his face closer to the other's field of sight, asking him "Aren't you gonna eat? I cooked plenty for everyone. It'll get cold now." Namjoon joked a bit about the group's 'mom' and some laughed along, stuffing their mouths with more food.

Yoongi however still looked expressionless and just excused himself, picking up his unused chopsticks. "Are you okay?" the youngest asked. "Yeah, I'm just." He was smiling, but with effort. "I remembered some fucking weird dream. Hoseok was in it too, saying the strangest things." He gestured weakly at the guy sitting away from him. Jeongguk laughed shortly and shrugged, before taking some of his own drink. Yoongi looked around and then at the groupmate he was referring to before. He was shaking his head. _No?_ Yoongi's eyes widened and he looked to the person beside Hoseok. Jimin made a painful expression and shook his head too. _Taehyung then maybe?_ 'Not a dream' could be read on his lips. _Oh. Oh fucking hell._ He felt sick. Yoongi looked even more pale than usual, while on the other hand, he was internally on fire.

"G-gotta go-- You guys can eat my chicken," he quickly said before stumbling away. Big eyes were following him as he hurriedly made his way to the bathroom.

"Hey, your food is cold already!!" was shouted by someone before Yoongi shut the door and spent a good 15 minutes above the sink.


	5. Else.

Feet were draped over each other and hands were readjusting blankets. A couple of fingers were tracing the jawline of Jimin's face, resulting in him almost closing his eyes. He attempted to giggle, but ended up coughing halfway through and ducked, holding his stomach. "Hyung, you do know you can catch my dirty g-" Another cough. "dirty germs this way, right?" Yoongi snorted and scraped his sore troath. "Why should it matter? I'm sick already." He went on to pet the younger's hair, who hummed a bit and leaned his head on the elder's chest anyway, eyes focusing on the tv.

Dance practice was now actually and Jimin has been known to be present at every single one - until last time. Now he had been so ill, even the manager adviced him to stay for the day. Yoongi had laughed, making snarky comments about the boy, until he was told himself to stay at the dorm too. It made sense; Yoongi fell sick the most easily of the members and his bad sleeping habits only worsened that. Initially he protested and said he was fine, but when his temperature got measured he was prohibited to do any activities outside, that day. Soon he found it wasn't so bad to be here after all, especially when im the precense of someone he was rather fond of.

"What are you thinking of?" Jimin asked as he looked up.

Yoongi knew his uninterested stare at the documentary on tv was obvious and he turned it off. "Nothing special."

Jimin's eyes narrowed.

"I mean... just yesterday's dinner. But it's not a big deal."

A finger poked in his cheek. "Are you sure, hyung? The bathroom still reeks of puke. That's a big deal if you ask me!"

Yoongi rolled his eyes and took a tissue from the box. "Alright, alright. Just blow your nose first before there's snot all over me."

He pouted but still obliged, making elephant noises as he did so.

"You're gross," Yoongi told him and grinned. "I'm- I'm not- Aren't you the gross one here, licking dirty fingers!" Jimin protested. The other gasped, a bit stunned by how easily the topic was brought up. "That's...." The one who brought up the topic ignored the reaction, turned and went to sit comfortably on the elder's lap. One of Yoongi's hands draped the blanket over the guy's back, while the other rested on Jimin's neck.

"Hyung, I want to know something..."

"Hm?"

"You... we still haven't discussed this properly. With all of us."

Yoongi looked away as he smiled - but it looked more like a grimace. "But they're not here. What do you want to hear from me?"

"I want to hear... what you want. Who you want."

That last sentence made Yoongi's hands even more sweaty than they were because of his fever.

"Hyung...?"

He pulled the hem of Jimin's sweater to the side and pressed a kiss to the skin. Shuddering, Jimin wrapped his arms about the person supporting him. "Yoongi-hyung, do you like just me?"

 _Do I like-- I'll just ignore that question._ The light haired boy pressed another kiss, just a few centimeters lower. Jimin hummed and knew the other would start talking soon. He was like that. Talking about personal things was hard for Yoongi.

He kissed another spot, this time more firmly. Jimin bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying to ignore his fever. A raspy tongue was added in between the firm kisses. Then finally, a confession came. Sort of.

"I do want you," was the first thing Yoongi admitted. "Uhm, I could guess that one, hahaha-- oh-" Jimin's laugh was abrupted by a tongue swiping across his earlobe. "And I want Hoseok," he whispered inside that same ear, which earned him a nice moan. "Mm, and of course," He lightly tugged on the earlobe with his teeth. "Taehyung is hot when he wants to be." Jimin giggled and tipped Yoongi's chin up, kissing him deeply. _No no no, it's not going this way._ Yoongi groaned a bit and pressed the other's face back with his lips, opening his mouth. Jimin followed, creating the tiniest noises in the back of his throath. Yoongi sighed into the kiss. _That's better._ Then Jimin's arms moved from the shoulder blades to the face he was busy with and gave the sweetest, most careful peck. As if they hadn't already started; as if the order was being reversed; as if Yoongi hadn't told him what he truly wanted. Which was in fact what happened. _Fuck. This isn't working._ Yoongi broke off the kiss, removing the hands from his cheeks.

"Yoongi-hyung...?"

Said person huffed. His head was spinning. _Must be the damn fever._

Jimin cupped his face again for he was brave, but oh so caring. Yoongi was an intimidating figure and everyone in the group could sense that. "Don't you... want to date me?" Yoongi's eyes widened. "Or is it your fever...?" Sticky hands were already on Yoongi's forehead, but they were rapidly pulled away. Jimin looked so lost and desperate, as though he was at fault for the confusion. _Oh, why can't I communicate the way I should?_

_I should try my best at least._

"Fuck, Jiminie." Jimin shivered a bit, but maybe that was because the blanket has dropped down from his shoulders. He continued, "I do want you of course, you ass. I want all of you, just." _Sigh. Here we go again._ "Just no 'dating'. No... cute kisses, no being boyfriends, no Valentine's crap. I just don't... am not a person of... romance...." His voice was miniscule at the last word, but Jimin heard. And apparently, he understood.

When the older, upset boy looked up, he was met with a surprisingly pleasant expression. "Is that all? You could've just said so," Jimin said with ease.

"You're not mad?"

He shook his head, that somehow looked pretty funny to the other. "I have no reason to be," he simply replied before pressing his tongue against chapped lips. Yoongi gladly opened his mouth, first pulling on the rough tongue with his lips, then adding his own tongue into the kiss. "Haahh-" the broader boy gasped for air before continuing. He needed something more, so he started rolling his hips.

The person sitting under him felt something slide against himself and he too wanted more. Groaning, he moved his hands from a thick, sweaty neck to a similarly warm lower back. Although Yoongi knew he couldn't get a better grip like this, he still slipped his hands under the waistband of the other's boxers, exploring his behind. Jimin shivered at the breeze going past his skin, but decided that he wouldn't let him being sick stand in the way now.

He brought his hands behind Yoongi's neck closer to each other, fingers filling the empty spaces between other fingers. It gave him more grip so he could lean back, which gave Yoongi the oppertunity to lift up the hoodie. He pulled back from the french kiss and duck forward again, this time placing his lips on that warm, shiny chest.

Jimin bit his lip as he pressed his hips forward - crotches met eachother there - and back, leaning into the touch of the hands. Yoongi was kneading his asscheeks as if they were made of dough, but the trained muscles made sure they weren't completely flexible. The elder slid his hands down them, enjoying the feeling. He felt this needed to be complimented.

"Hmm, Jiminie," he said after a couple of sloppy kisses. "Hah-- y-yes?" Yoongi, with lips still on the skin, looked up happily. "I knew your ass was nice, but," Another kiss. "...this round? That's fucking wonderful," he said lastly before taking the left nipple in between his teeth.

Jimin whimpered and nearly jumped off his lap. "Watch out, it's still hurting!!"

"...Ah?" Yoongi carefully opened his mouth, letting go of the dark bud. _Of course... I nearly ripped the damn things off yesterday._ "Sorry, forgot." Rubbing soothing circles in the skin of the boy's sides, Yoongi waited for him to feel calm again.

"It's- it's okay, I'm ju- just sensitive" Jimin stuttered. Yoongi didn't even need to look up to know the other was flustered. He took the last sentence as an OK sign to continue teasing the same spot. Flicking his tongue over it, he heard the other suck in a deep breath and felt him pull their lower bodies together. "You're- heavy-" Yoongi huffed against the warm chest before signing for the boy to get off his lap. Jimin pouted at the insult, but moved and lied down with his back pressing into the couch anyway.

This provided the rapper the freedom to move his head lower and dipped his tongue in the depths in between the other's abs. Every time he mouthed at said abs, the boy underneath him let out high pitched noises, which would have been adorable in any situation but this one. Now, he was just a nervous, warm and sweaty mess and on top of that, growing impatient. "H-hyuuung," Jimin whined as he tried to push Yoongi further back. "Oh, I thought you liked being teased by your elders?" Yoongi asked as he looked forward. He meant it as a joke, a play on words; referencing a moment where Jimin said in an interview he liked being teased by Hoseok. Jimin himself however, didn't understand the double meaning and bit his lip, looking away.

Is he serious..? "Oh. Oh wow," Yoongi mumbled before pressing a soft kiss on the definitely less soft stomach. He didn't feel like talking a lot, but his curiosity was incited. "How far-" He scraped his throat. Not because he hesitated, but because he was still feeling not too well and couldn't surpress that. "How far did you go with your boyfriends?" Yoongi tried again. "Uhm," Jimin started. Yoongi had his hands on the other's broad chest and could feel it lift up and drop faster. "We uh... I. We did go... all the way? But we- we weren't... all together yet." Yoongi hummed as a form of sympathy, before palming the clothed bulge in front of him and kissing the exposed skin right above it. "Oh my god," Jimin whispered lastly before hiding his face behind his arm.

Jimin pushed his hips up against the hand and dropped his arm to the side when he felt his sweatpants and boxers being pulled down, making his dick jump out. He moaned before he knew it, while he was only being touched by a few fingers. Holy shit, he really does like being teased. Yoongi wanted to try this out. One squeeze on the underside and Jimin jerked up, making one of his diverse surprised noises. "Jiminie," he said as he played with the slit and oh, did the boy look flustered. "Jiminie, your cock is short, right? But so thick... I love it." He only got a groan as response. Grinning, Yoongi slid forward with his legs, so their faces were at an equal level again. "Aren't- weren't you going to- to use your mouth, hyung?" Jimin asked. He didn't hide his face, but instead avoided eye contact as a way to express his embarrassment. _Heh. He hasn't been this self-conscious in ages._

Yoongi felt a little pre-cum dribble over his fingers and he got pulled out of his thoughts, redirecting new ones to the question. "Ah, no. My cheeks and troath's all fucked up." Jimin didn't expect an answer anymore and looked a bit unsure, whispering a soft "oh, okay." Yoongi continued stroking the other slowly, enjoying the gasping and moaning.

The one on top leaned down, planting firm kisses along Jimin's jawline. Jimin tilted his head to the side and reached forward, tugging down Yoongi's pants far enough to free his length as well. Yoongi sighed against the skin and moved his hips forward, stimulating both of them. Jimin pressed his own hips up, making their erections press together better.

Yoongi gasped. Just as they nearly found a good rythm for moving their bodies, Jimin wrapped a couple of fingers around their lengths. The strokes that he gave took long at first, but became gradually faster. Yoongi, face pressed against Jimin's, joined the hand with his own. Together they tried to find the best pace, but in the mean time it still felt good. A bit too good according to Yoongi. _My head is gonna fucking explode_ , he thought. Blood was rushing not only to his erection, but also his face. Adding that to his fever, and you had a panting mess.

Even so, Jimin was still the most vocal. Every kiss, lick or squeeze resulted in a new high pitched sound, together with the most sincere yet erotic expressions. With half lidded eyes he looked up, biting his lip. Yoongi loved the faces that he made and wanted them to be even more troubled looking.

"Jiminie," he said after a teasing bite on the chin below him. "Mmh," he responded while rolling his head away. _I'll take that as a 'Yes, what is it?'_ "Can you promise me... not to touch yourself?" The one bottoming licked his lips nervously, nodded a bit and raised his hands to above Yoongi's face, holding him close. They kissed each other's faces briefly and repeatedly, with just enough time to breathe. Yoongi sighed happily. Somehow his words were always followed.

Fingers pressed into Yoongi's neck more deeply. "Hyung." Yoongi kissed him on the neck- his favourite spot. "Hm?" It took a few seconds for Jimin to say anything, for his vocabulary was reduced to mostly loud moans. "Yoo- i- hyu- need to- co-.... mmh..." was all he could bring out. Yoongi smiled a bit. "Heh, same..." Fastening his hand movements, he bucked into his own. He felt and saw Jimin press up his lower body too; arms were still laying helplessly beside him. Jimin's head sank lower into the couch as he moved closer and closer to the other and he cried out. "Hhhyung!!!!" Tears started to peek at the corners of his eyes and Yoongi decided this was enough for the teasing. He pressed one last kiss on the wide neck (that would definitely leave a mark later on) and let go of their cocks with one hand.

"It's fine, Jiminie. Touch yourself." Mewling, Jimin gladly used his hand again, helping his partner in jerking each other off. Everything felt sticky and hot, and Yoongi couldn't wait to be done. He sat back, closing his eyes like Jimin did, but whilst making low grunts instead of squeals. His jaw dropped as he felt himself get close.

 _I don't want to miss out on his face, what the fuck am I doing._ He opened his eyes again and it was just in time to see the other orgasm, cum splurting out over himself and their hands. It seemed like the sobbing Jimin tried to call out his name, but all Yoongi heard were incomprehensible whines echoeing through the room. Both boys had now let go of the flaccid dick and moved on to the other one that still had to be dealt with. It was only a matter of seconds before Yoongi came too: his voice cracked, legs gave in and sperm shot out on places that were already covered as it was. Then, similar to the fight from yesterday, they collapsed.

They wheezed for a while, trying to regain their senses.

"Was it that bad?" Yoongi asks somewhat jokingly, pointing at the tears on Jimin's face.

"Ah, this?" Jimin rubbed against his cheecks with the back of his hand, letting out a sniff. Then he started coughing, which made him amused, but that only worsened the coughing fit. _Did he try to keep in coughing?_ "Oh my god, really now," Yoongi snorted before taking a couple of tissues from the box. "Eheheh, yeah. I'm dumb, sorry," Jimin apologised. "Sometimes, yeah... Just face- wipe your face please," Yoongi stumbled to advise him as he wiped off his own fingers and Jimin's stomach. "Okay, okay" Jimin said hastily as he observed his partner. "Aren't you still sick then?" he wondered aloud. Yoongi smiled tiredly, nodding. "Yeah, I'm. Pass-- about to pass out. My... brains are-- my fever is..." he gestured vaguely at his own head. Giggling, Jimin sat up too.

"We better lie down then." Yoongi agreed. "Please, not here though," he murmured before heading to his bedroom. Jimin followed happily like he would normally do, though this time he looked fucked out and cold.

Though Jimin's bed was in a different room, he stepped into Hoseok's. Yoongi shrugged ( _Whatever, man_ ) and got into his own bed. Both mumbled a "good night".

Yoongi laughed quietly. "It's barely afternoon."

"Oops! Hahaha," Jimin replied.

Then they fell silent.

 

By the time Yoongi woke up, it was evening. He sat up, holding his pounding head right away. "Ah, fuck..." he said to himself before looking around the room. _No Jimin._ As he was processing where he was and what time it probably was, he noticed clattering noises coming from near the kitchen. They're probably having dinner around now. He could make out a couple of voices, but not exactly what they were saying.

Some footsteps came closer to his room and a voice spoke to people behind the person. Yoongi could hear the trash can being opened and shortly after a gasp. Then he finally heard a clear sentence that was yelled out. "Hey Jimin, are you really fine? There's dozens of snotty tissues in the trash!!"

Yoongi smiled and lied down again, knowing he was safe for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant believe i wrote this.... im so embarrassed at how bad this whole fic is omfg


	6. Or else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was p long but i didnt find a good point to split it in half, sorry!

The next couple of weeks were tightly scheduled. Yoongi was hoping there would be at least one day with a bit more free time so he could have a proper talk with the three boys again. Sadly there were always group members around or the timing was bad, so it never came to it. His relationship with Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung stayed the same on the surface for a while: there were just as many skinship moments as before and that one afternoon with Jimin aside, no one initiated anything after that. They just didn't have the time.

 

But now Yoongi finally has some time, he can't even spend it the way he wants to: sleeping.

 

"Come on guys, you said you all wanted to go shopping!" Namjoon says as he steps into Yoongi and Hoseok's bedroom. "Not all of us," Hoseok corrects him as he falls back to a lying position. "And you forgot we're also doing errands," Seokjin corrects the leader likewise as he follows him in the hallway. Yoongi hears something coming from the next room that sounds like angry grunts and scraping noises. Jeongguk is probably being pulled out of bed by his feet.

Namjoon sighs and walks out of the room, accidently hitting his knee against the doorframe for the second time this day.

Yoongi is paying less attention to the ruckus and goes through the rooms, inspecting his friends he's suspicious of. In another room, one person is lying face down with his arms and legs flat beside him. So Taehyung is awake. Hoseok grunts out a loud "Hey!" when Namjoon's legs bump into his bed. So he's still awake too. What about Jimin? Putting on his leather pants, Yoongi shuffles to Namjoon and Jimin's room. A mountain is slightly rising and falling underneath the comforter. A soft breathing can be heard and when taking a closer look, Yoongi sees a bare shoulder and fluffy hair at the head of the bead. Definitely asleep, he concludes before heading out of the room to grab his stuff, following Namjoon, Seokjin and Jeongguk.

Once outside the building, he feels like there's something missing. _Fuck, my earphones._ Apologising, he puts down his backpack gently on the floor. Seokjin would get irritated, but they have enough time and he's relieved Yoongi mentions it here. "It's okay. Just be quick. The rest is waiting," he tells him. Yoongi nods and walks up the stairs, careful not to overdo himself today with running and such, for he often overlooks the capacity of his body.

Back in the dorm, he circles around, inspecting the living room. Lifting up a couple of papers, he thinks he sees them. _Oh, it's just a phone charger cord._ Looking around, he remembers something. _I listened to music right before sleeping._ He rolls his eyes. _Of course I did._

Heading over to his room, he hesitates before holding the door knob. _They're not already having sex, right?_ Yoongi sees easily through words and situations and knows that's what they wanted to stay at home for. He stays still for a bit, paying attention to noises coming from the room. _They're talking and... fuck. That was definitely a kiss._ He'd hate to interrupt their quality time, but he promised to come back soon. A scenario of Seokjin and the other two coming back to see if he's okay run through Yoongi's head and he decides to just prevent that. _Even if they stop in time, they're in the wrong fucking bedrooms._ He turns the knob and pushes open the door, hoping for the best.

"Ah."

Hoseok just let out a surprised little sound and breaks off the kiss with Taehyung. The latter is holding a couple of fingers of Jimin, who on his part still seems a bit sleepy.

Yoongi's eyes travel from their sensual faces to the corresponding lower bodies. They're still dressed- but only just. Taehyung's shorts and underpants are so low on his hips that his dick is nearly visible, Hoseok is in a long, tight fitting shirt (Is he naked underneath it?) and Yoongi swears he saw a glimpse of Jimin's morning wood through his boxers. Three pairs of eyes are focusing on the new guest and Yoongi realizes he should do something rather than observe.

 _Come on, it's not that awkward_ , he tells himself before scraping his throat.

"I... didn't mean to interrupt." The boys giggle a bit, whispering "it's fine" and such.

"Do you guys know where my earphones are? I couldn't see where I left them." The last thing was mostly muttered to himself before he ducks, reaching behind his bed but without result.

He hears the bed behind him squeak and he looks behind him to find Taehyung squat, looking on the floor as well.

"Where did you last see it?"

Yoongi sighs happily, relieved that they're cooporating instead of... whatever the hell he is not yet willing to do.

"Hyung?"

He is pulled out of his thoughts and looks around. "There," he points. "But it's not there anym-"

"FOUND IT!" is yelled and Yoongi's neck twists a bit too rapidly. Jimin holds the earphones up as if he has won something.

Sprinting to him, Yoongi takes the item with some force from the hand holding it. "Oh, thank you," he compliments Jimin. "Where was it?"

Hoseok reacts in Jimin's stead. He shrugs animatedly and talks hastily as ever. "It was on the ground! Maybe Taehyung did it? Ah, this kid..." Yoongi and Taehyung smile warmly, before the latter steps onto the bed again and Yoongi retreats to the door.

The couple doesn't go back to kissing, as they're still left wondering about the elder. "Hyung-nim," Jimin starts. "don't you want to stay?"

_He sure is direct._

Yoongi licks his lips, looking away. "I'm..."

_I'm in a hurry, that's what. The others are waiting downstairs._

Yoongi smiles. "Maybe. But you just have your moment, okay? I think Taehyung prefers that too."

Said person has two people fix their gazes on him, but not in an intimidating way. Taehyung nods at the eldest, admitting easily: "I'm not sure if I want to do it if I'm not dating the person." Hoseok squeezes his hand as a sign of comfort, while Jimin strokes the arm on the other side. Taehyung is far from nervous or anxious, but his boyfriends try to show their support at any rate. "We know," Jimin says before pressing a soft kiss to the cheek of the one in the middle. Hoseok turns to face the one who's turning visibly uncomfortable by the atmosphere. "Thank you," Hoseok says finally.

Yoongi shows a little smile and leaves, thankful he could refrain from staying and even more thankful he's still holding his earphones.

 

"Woah, it's really crowded here, huh? Way too crowded, honestly!" Namjoon says with a disapproving face, as they walk through the streets. He tends to say obvious stuff, so Yoongi is used to that and doesn't pay too much attention to it.

"Let's go this way," Jeongguk tells them before heading into a boutique. It takes a while for the group members, manager and another person from the staff accompanying him to find him, for they're going into the opposite direction of the masses. _He just does whatever he wants, huh?_

The rest follows along and Seokjin nags a bit. "Fine, but-- we will-- buy food for tonight's dinner right af-- ter this... Hello." Seokjin huffs from running after the youngest before greeting the shop owner. The rest make little bows and look around. The shop isn't too big and luckily not filled with many customers either. There are some young people, _but those are probably not up to date with groups_ , Yoongi thinks when seeing their expressions remain neutral.

There's some trendy instrumental music playing in the store and Yoongi hears it through his earphones, so he decides to turn his music off. Just as he takes his phone out of his jacket, he feels it buzz in his hands. Continuously. Is this who I think it is?

It is. Opening his chatting app, he notices there are over 40 missed messages... in a group chat he doesn't recognise. _..."Super top secret group?" I bet Taehyung thought of that name._ He furrows his brows and clicks on the title.

Scrolling back to the start, he sees four people were added to the group: "Chimchim", "Taetae", "Hope" (with additional emojis) and himself. After that, there are over 30 messages that simply say "Hellooo!" and call Yoongi dozens of times.

He looks around him before responding. Namjoon is looking through a rack of black, drapey clothing and the manager is talking to the staff member. They're discussing food... Oh yeah, our manager would pay for lunch. Seokjin doesn't seem too happy about it because he's in a hurry with doing grocery shopping, but takes a 180 degree turn in his opinion when he hears that he himself gets to choose what to eat. Jeongguk stands beside him and shows a cheeky grin.

 _Oh yeah, a reply._ Yoongi hastily types something in, but the others send things in the mean time already.

 

'Taetae: hyungggg'

'Chimchim: we know you read this because my screen says so!'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: Ah now that you say so'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: That's correct!'

'Taetae: HYUUUNG'

'Yoongi: what is it'

'Taetae: !!!!!'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: Hello~~!'

'Chimchim: hello hyung-nim!'

'Taetae: HELLO!!!!!!!!!!'

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and smiles at his screen. They're so silly, but he finds that enjoyable.

 

'Taetae: HE'S ONLINE'

'Yoongi: but what is it'

'Taetae: HE'S ONLINE LET'S GO PARTY'

'Chimchim: YEAHHH'

'Yoongi: why am i in another spam message chat group'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: Oooh don't be like that!'

'Taetae: we made this group so we could talk privately without others listening'

'Chimchim: that's why it's a top secret group'

'Taetae: super top secret group!'

'Chimchim: exactly'

'Yoongi: you guys'

'Yoongi: do know others can still read this if they take a look right?'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: Is anyone looking now?'

 

Yoongi looks up. Namjoon is trying out a long black cardigan and some rings. Jeongguk is talking to him, while a pair of jeans hangs over his arm, with tags still on it. The rest is still talking about food. _Jin-hyung looks so excited._

 

'Yoongi: no'

'Yoongi: why'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: then nobody will know anything about this group~'

 

_Sigh._

 

'Yoongi: whats the secret thing you so badly need to talk about now?'

'Yoongi: werent you like'

'Yoongi: going to have sex or just waste each others time'

'Chimchim: OOOHH HYUNG'

'Taetae: thats too secret for even the super top secret group!'

'Chimchim: right, right!'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: We have time now'

'Taetae: ssht you're hinting too much'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: We wanted to have a safe place to talk'

'Yoongi: about what'

'Chimchim: hyung you always say we talk too much but you ask a lot of questions too'

'Yoongi: jimin shut up or ill break your fucking jaw'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: Just us in general'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: I don't think you have lots of time now but we just wanted to assure you that you can always come to us for help'

'Chimchim: ...'

'Chimchim: "help" ;)'

'Yoongi: what is jimins favourite song again? we need to play it on his funeral'

'Yoongi: but anyway yeah thanks. its old news but sure. is that all?'

'Taetae: actually! i wanted to say something too'

 

Yoongi's fingers halt above the 'send' button. He was planning to send a goodbye message, but hesitates. _Let's see what he has to say first_ , he thinks, as he is still curious about Taehyung's future wishes.

 

'Taetae: you know how we're kind of the same? but then the opposite way around.'

 

Taehyung sounds vague, but Yoongi knows what he means. I'm not into romance and he's not-- or just less into sex, right?

 

'Yoongi: yeah i know.'

'Taetae: and i always loved, and was okay with the idea of making love. i am loved. made love. but now...'

'Chimchim: taetae is so deep hahaha'

'Taetae: just now i figured out that when they are here, i don't care that much anymore.'

'Yoongi: ?'

'Taetae: on the condition that at least one boyfriend is present,'

'Taetae: i want to have sex with you next time, hyung.'

 

Yoongi turns further away from the other people in the shop and grins widely, holding the phone closer to his face.

 

'Yoongi: you dont need to force yourself to it'

'Taetae: i'm not.'

'Yoongi: then it's a deal'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: !!!!!'

'Chimchim: woohoo!!'

'Yoongi: lets look at when he have time etc later, okay?'

'Taetae: sure! thank you yoongi-hyung.'

'Yoongi: no problem'

 

Yoongi looks back to his group mates, who are asking him what he's doing and if he wants to look at the clothing on the other side of the shop. Slowly heading over to them, he texts his friends briefly.

 

'Yoongi: i have to go. sorry'

'Chimchim: it's OK!'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: bye bye!!'

'Taetae: byeee'

'Yoongi: oh and'

'Yoongi: were being treated for lunch so we wont be done with shopping and doing errands until after 4'

'Hope ＼(＾∀＾）ノ ･ﾟ*｡･☆: ooooh'

'Yoongi: have fun'

 

He doesn't look at the messages that follow and jogs towards the rest. "Ugh, I got spam messages."

Seokjin lets out a sigh and pats his back in compassion. "I know what you mean."

Nodding, Jeongguk adds his own complaints. "Those three never stop talking, in real life and online. It's ridiculous!"

"You haven't checked your phone in weeks though," Yoongi notes and snorts before going into Namjoon's direction. He's looking at a couple of shelves with what looks like vintage items on it.

"Does this look good on me?" Namjoon asks as he puts a 90s teenager-esque choker around his neck. Yoongi knows what styles his colleagues and friends like, so this look is very natural to his eyes. Nodding, he says "Yeah, it does."

"I'm gonna look further," Yoongi mumbles before heading into another part of the store. He is genuinely looking for a specific item, but that doesn't take away his interest in his buzzing phone. Right after he takes it from his pocket, he's left with disappointment. There are only a couple of goodbye messages and that's it. What else did I expect honestly? Scrolling up, he re-reads what Taehyung has written before. He can't help it and smiles a bit, but turns a stone cold expression when he hears Seokjin move past him. Fuck, did he see?

Yoongi quickly puts away his phone and looks at what the eldest is doing. _Is he blushing? Oh fuck no_ , is Yoongi's first thought. He reconsiders though, when looking at the rest of Seokjin's behaviour. His posture is calm and his hand is lingering on a dress hanging on the clothing rack. _He's probably imagining a pretty girl in it. He often talks about wanting a girlfriend._

He chuckles and shrugs it off, deciding to not pay too much mind to Seokjin. _Now let's see, do they have any nice jackets here..._

 

Yoongi lost track of how long he has been in the studio. Jimin had told him at the dinner table to take it easy on a schedule-free day, but shut up as soon as Yoongi shot him a face that said 'like you're the one to talk'. Hoseok and Taehyung were almost as expressive as normal. Almost, because they and Jimin looked down shyly whenever their gazes met with Yoongi. It said enough to him. Not that he wanted proof of anything; he just happened to notice.

He's not thinking about any of that now though. Now, it's just editing and repeating tracks until his entire world consists of music.

Music and... a door opening? I'm not in the mood for people, but fuck it.

"Who is it?" Yoongi asks as he takes his headphone off.

"It's me, Hoseok."

"Come in."

His guest smiles widely, as he's known to do, before quietly shutting the door. Yoongi gestures for him to sit down, which he does does without thinking... but regrets that right after. The other rapper hisses as he seats himself in the office chair, and tries to readjust his position with the smallest of trembles.

"Ah, that was a bad idea," Hoseok says in one breath.

Yoongi licks his lips and grins, leaning over a bit to the other. "I doubt you said that to Taehyung this morning," he jokes in a whispering tone. Hoseok looks at him in something similar to disbelief. "How did you..." and Yoongi's jaw drops a bit. _I was only joking-- but I actually guessed it right??_

Only then it clicks with Hoseok that his friend really didn't know for sure, and the late realisation makes him bursts into laughter. Hoseok slaps his knee repeatedly, while Yoongi's snickers increase volume and his body is simultaneously shaking more. "Hahahaha, oh my god, hyung!" the dancer speaks from behind his fist, and gets a "It's not- even that- funny, ahahah", with a slap on his shoulder as a reaction. The younger's eyes start to water and they both lie slumped down in their chairs a bit, trying to catch their breaths.

The last couple of snorts are briefly interrupted by another person entering the studio.

"Hey, 'sup," Namjoon asks them as he enters the room.

The two who are already present quickly sit up, greeting him.

"Ah, nothing much," Hoseok answers with a happy sigh. Rubbing away the tears on his cheeks with his palm, he doesn't notice the guy behind him taking the last available chair. Easily startled as he is, he jumps up a little when looking back and makes a painful face because he bumped against the chair with his behind.

Namjoon puts a hand on his back, asking "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just scared easily."

It's a bit silent after that. The only noises that can be heard in the studio is the computer's air vent, irregular clicking on tracks in Yoongi's folder, and the slight tapping of Namjoon's feet.

I'd better just break the ice.

"So what were you guys tal-" Namjoon starts. Yoongi was planning to talk and just continues, pretending to not have heard the question. "Do you want to listen to what I have for the teaser track?"

The other rappers respond with a "Oh, sure!" and "Yeah!" enthusiastically and move closer. Yoongi unplugs the headphones and goes to the program he uses for editing songs. "It's really just a draft," he warns them before pressing space bar.

Yoongi leans back in his chair, takes off his beanie to ruffle through his hair, and puts it back on. Looking to his side, he sees the two others sit with arms folded, or hands to the face; it's always either one of the two that they switch to. All are bobbing their heads slightly to the beat and the lack of intesity of their expressions (he himself of course listened countless of times to the song already) freaks Yoongi out. What if this isn't it? Namjoon was very positive the first time he heard the rough version. I might have to start all over again now...

"It's nice!" is the first thing Namjoon says as the music ends. Hoseok nods.

Yoongi doesn't know what to ask. _Advice? This is my own song._ Namjoon looks like he's thinking the feedback he's about to give through and Hoseok watches him, waiting. Yoongi doesn't know about the others, but to him, the silence is uncomfortable.

Luckily the leader ends it. "The beat was nice, but I think the build-up could be better. What if there's a moment without music near the end?"

"Ah, okay..." Yoongi looks up a point in the timeline where this would fit and plays it. "Here for example?"

 

Time passes by quickly. They talk, laugh, write, edit and listen. Once Hoseok stands up (carefully) to look at the time on the computer screen, he sees it's 03:32 already.

"Guys, can we continue this later?" he asks them. Yoongi lets his tired eyes fall on the digital time and rubs those eyes because of the itchy feeling. He sniffs and looks up. "If you want to go, you can go." He tries to show a smile, but Hoseok's slightly hurt reaction makes him aware it wasn't a convincing smile.

Hoseok just mumbles an "Okay" and quietly leaves the room.

The room has a completely different feel to it now the group's ray of sunshine isn't there anymore, but someone else still is. Even though there's music on, even though Namjoon is still talking, Yoongi can feel a tension rising. _Or maybe it's just my blood pressure dropping and being unable to stand noise._

"But tell me, honestly, what was going on between you two lately?" Yoongi's eyes widen. _Okay, blood pressure is rising._ He's still looking at his screen, panicking internally.

To his relief, Namjoon continues talking. "Were you two discussing mixtapes or something?"

Yoongi sighs and turns around in his chair. _Thank you for preparing a lie for me._ "Yeah. What about it?"

"Oh, I'm just. I'd love to give you advice, you know?"

Yoongi smiles sarcastically. "I know."

_I'm really not in the mood for talking right now... just sleep. Ugh, Namjoon isn't helping._

Quite the contrary, he starts giving unwarranted advice about how Yoongi should approach making and releasing his personal songs. Namjoon's lips seem to move without thinking and before they both know it, he's started talking about his solo that will come out soon. Yoongi rolls his eyes to give off a sign that he's heard these ramblings lots of times before, but it just won't reach.

_Yes, I know you're travelling to the US in a couple of weeks. Yes, I know what 'Do You' sounds like-- Oh my god don't play it. I know!!_

These are all just thoughts and the fatigue is too overwhelming to Yoongi to voice these thoughts. Instead, he just pretends he agrees by little nods and is absolutely not jealous of his colleague.

_Let him talk. He's just tired and tends to ramble on easily. He'll be snoring in an hour._

"...and I really don't get why you and Hoseok won't just drop it!"

"Excuse me?" Yoongi mutters. He is probably not heard, considering Namjoon is still going on with his monologue. Yoongi squints his eyes. He feels his face heat up.

"Just drop the mixtape! It's not supposed to be a polished product, you know?"

Yoongi digs his nails into the seating of his chair. _I shouldn't give in. I look up to the leader as he's a huge inspiration for me - for us all. I shouldn't--_

"I mean, if I can get a solo with four MVs, why can't any of you at least release those songs? Which is much easie--"

Namjoon is full of shit and Yoongi is full of anger. It's been a while since this has happened: Yoongi snaps. The monologue Namjoon gives is applauded by merely one hand, which just happens to hit his cheek. Memories of weeks before run through Yoongi's head. He almost forgot about what he wrote, almost, but now he envisions the text in his note book clearly:

_Fight list._

_~~1\. Jimin~~ _

_~~2\. Hoseok~~ _

_~~3\. Taehyung~~ _

_4\. Namjoon_

_5\. ..._

 

The first three names are scrapped, as they were already dealt with on his "To do" list, so that leaves the fourth person for now. He repeats the line endlessly in his head. _4\. Namjoon. 4. Namjoon._

Yoongi receives a sharp blow to his cheek.

_Fourth person on the list, first one that yet has to be fought._

Namjoon grabs him by his jacket. Yoongi's favourite one.

_Oh? Oh, now he's done it._


	7. what?

Hey, sorry updating took so long! I've been even harder to motivate lately and for a while I didn't feel agressive enough anymore to write this ;;

This is the second to last chapter. Please let me know what you think!

 

\------------------------------------

 

The air in the room is dry, but becomes pleasant when it swishes through the gaps between Yoongi's limbs and torso, and between his fingers. Even more pleasant is the pain he feels when he is slammed against the thick wall _\- Why do they always do that? -_ because it makes clear the anger is reciprocal.

Namjoon is a dangerous guy and Yoongi knows it, feels it, when fists take turns in attacking his arms. Like some sort of jelly object, his arms flubber at every touch, the epicenter of pain changing every couple of seconds. Yoongi can practically feel the bruises already.

He tries to scratch the other but fails, as his arms are as good as immovable now. He's far from done, though. _No way I'm chickening out now._

"Why did you-- touch my jack-- my jacket like that, huh?" Yoongi manages to bring out in between choked coughs.

He doesn't wait for an answer and takes his chance to kick Namjoon fast and painfully. As soon as Yoongi kicks him in the groin, Namjoon's hands go for that spot. That however breaks his grip on the jacket and he falls back, tripping over his own feet while making them touch Yoongi's ankles. Yoongi loses balance at that and trips too.

"Fgg-fucking--!!" He falls forward, bumping his head against the back of an office seat and letting out some incoherent grunts. With a loud crash, they land on the floor together. Namjoon appears to recover faster from the fall because he's already pushing the elder off him. Yoongi is in too much pain to respond and sees all corners of the room flash in front of his eyes. He twirls around two, three times before he ends up in an unfortunate position; confined and underneath the other.

Both of his wrists are in a firm grip and before he realises what up or down is, he's kicked against one side of his bony hips. Like a tiny dagger, the edges of Namjoon's knee practically stab his body - only soft skin still protecting its insides. _What the fuck is he made of??_ Yoongi can't see well where everything is and starts throwing insults as the only contemporary outlet for his anger. Coughing, he clenches his body and directs his voice to the younger.

"Wh-- even when fighting-- you're a fucking coward, huh? Do you-- hah... call this a fight??"

"Huh-" Namjoon halts his movements for a second, but only to stand up and kick Yoongi twice as hard as before against his pelvis. "There, your hands are free! Happy now?" His voice cracks at the second sentence and he huffs a lot, probably not handling getting up so fast well.

"Of course! I'm fucking great!!" Yoongi responds sarcastically before lashing out at Namjoon's legs. First he tries using his own legs, but they can't reach the other at all and he resorts to his other limbs. "I just... haah... COULDN'T BE BETTER!!" he screams as he manages to hold Namjoon's ankle in his hands. He squeezes until he's sure nasty bruises will appear there and he digs his nails in the skin that peeks out under the pants, enjoying the yells that the other rapper lets out. He's has no idea what to do after that though and that's where he's made a mistake.

His grip on the ankle becomes a disadvantage from the moment Namjoon decides to lean against the wall with his hands flat and continue kicking. "Couldn't-- be better?? What the fuck are you saying?!"

Instead of defending himself, Yoongi's arms now only bring the hard sneakers closer to himself, but he has no idea how to let go. _Everything feels confusing?_ Suffering under the sharp jabs in his fragile stomach, he barely registers Namjoon is still talking.

"Didn't you-- say you were happy in your lyrics??" He gives the hardest kick in the waist that he's given present so far, making Yoongi roll around once more, but this time he painfully bumps against the wall with his back. Yoongi coughs and gargles, feeling something ascend in his troath. _Oh man-- is this blood?_ he thinks as he tastes something gross on his tongue. _I feel like laughing._

Dissatisfied with the lack of a response, Namjoon repeats his words and actions. "Didn't you say y-you were happy? Didn't-- you write it down?? ....the lyrics??"

With every hit against his already hurting stomach, Yoongi slams against the near sound proof wall and curls up more. _Of course I wrote that I'm happy. I tell that myself every day! Come on, say it, tell me I'm a fake shit!_ He's still holding onto the leg; not because he's lost, but because he actually loves the feeling of bringing it closer and being part of the cause of his own pain. _I deserve this._

With tears streaming down his face, the elder looks up. "So-- wh-what if I fucking did?" There is a smile on his face that could be mistaken for arrogance, but that's the last possible state he is in right now. _'Misery', 'self-pitying', 'self-destruction'_ and similar things are running through his head, though less clearly defined in words and the more vividly displayed in images in his head.

Not even having their conversation on his mind, Namjoon draws back at the realisation that Yoongi is now in control of his foot. "Shit, what... what are you doing??"

Yoongi grins. _People always get like this when they know I'm like this._ He buries the covered feet further in the space between the little rolls on his stomach, gritting his teeth. "Fuck," he breathes out. _They back off as soon as I show the truth._

Namjoon tries to pull back, but the other won't budge. "Fuck, dude! Let go!"

That 'dude' gets dragged away by the limb he's clinging onto and laughs, for as far as his lungs allow him to. "Hah, you should hear your pathetic-- voice now--"

"Shut the fuck up and let m--" With a swing, Namjoon finally manages to free himself. But clumsy as he is, he loses balance again and hobbles backward. "me-- go-- WAAH!!" He tries to hold the nearest office chair, but that one rolls back and he manages to hit the table with the back of his head. Whining loudly, he collapses.

Namjoon is too far away to reach and they both seem too injured to move to one another. Through lidded eyes, Yoongi inspects him. _He's breathing rapidly. Well... at least he's not dead?_

The younger one gives off no further agressive vibes. Yoongi feels his own urges are starting to fade away too. _So is it over now?_

Yoongi lies still for a minute. His tears have dried up now, but the pain lingers. He tries to control his shivering body, but it's futile.

The first sound he hears after a while is a swallowing one, and then a voice.

"I'm sorry."

_What the fuck?_

Yoongi looks at him with big eyes and raised eyebrows. "Huh?"

"I shouldn't have-" He scrapes his throat. "... treated you like that. I'm sorry."

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi smiles at those words. "No, you don't need to apologise. I love getting beaten up. I love... feeling something." His voice is small, but judging by Namjoon's shocked face, he's audible enough. Namjoon appears to not know how to respond.

They're quiet for a bit more. The only sounds that can be heard are the songs on the computer (put on a low volume) and a sticky noise whenenever one of the two lifts even a finger from the ground. Apparently the half empty energy drink cans fell from the table to the ground when they bumped into the furniture. _Great. I have to clean this up too._

Feeling grossed out by how dirtied his sweaty, sticky body has become from fighting and lying on the floor that hasn't been cleaned in over a week, Yoongi feels the need to get up and move. First he tries sitting up. That works. Then he tries standing. _Oh, nope, this is too soon,_ he thinks as he drops on his behind again without wanting to do so.

"Need help?"

Namjoon stands in front of him, extending his hand. Yoongi can't exactly read his expression, but it doesn't matter. _It's too late to not be sincere anymore._

Yoongi mumbles something back and takes the hand, gasping as he gets pulled onto his feet.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asks.

The taller one nods and says "Yeah" with a dry mouth.

"Alright, let's go." Yoongi shuts all electronics off and leaves the room, following the other to outside the studio.

Passing by the dance room, they manage to avoid Jimin and Seokjin getting a good look at them and Yoongi just distracts the two by reminding them of the time.

"Oh, half past five already? Eheheh, I'd better get going!" Jimin says happily, though he's obviously worn out. He grins at them, running a hand through his damp hair. Yoongi tries to keep his own posture stable and responds with a little smile.

 

Once back in the dorm, both rappers clean up quickly before Seokjin and Jimin come back.

"Your head... it's bleeding." Yoongi notices in the bathroom.

"Really? Shit, is it bad?"

Carefully, Yoongi touches it (Namjoon still hisses in pain) and draws his hand back. "It's a huge lump but... it's stopped bleeding now."

Namjoon sighs, looking down and smiling. It's his way of showing relief. "Okay, good. Thank you."

"No, thank **you.** " Wringing out his wet washcloth, Yoongi moves past the other to exit the room. He's halted at the door opening.

"Hyung?"

Yoongi looks back, slightly nervous. S _omeone calling you after a silence is never good._

"We do need to talk soon. This is really not okay."

Yoongi swallows, looking away. Namjoon continues, "You can't keep this up for much longer. So... I'm making all of us discuss this tomorrow. Us seven."

A huge discomfort is building up in Yoongi's injured stomach. He's searching, fishing for words but all he can bring out is a weak and unintentionally bold "Fine."

They get into their own rooms mere seconds before the last few members arrive.

 

"You're back."

Yoongi first jolts up, but then relaxes at the sight of Hoseok's calm expression. "And you're up late," he says. For a second, he almost feels like his snarky self.

"You're not in a position to say that!" Hoseok laughs and covers his mouth, a bit surprised by his own volume.

Yoongi just snorts briefly and steps into his own bed. He sucks in a deep breath when his hips touch it. _I nearly forgot my own injuries, wow!_ "F-ff--" he starts, but cuts his own curse off. Hoseok, however, notices the change in atmosphere.

"...Do you plan on fighting a lot more people?" _He knows._

"No. ...I don't know."

Hoseok sits up, a bit curious about what's on the elder's mind. "Take your time."

After thinking for a bit, Yoongi finally forms a new sentence. "I just wanna get beat up, you know? "

He buries his head in his hands, embarrassed by his own, depressing confession. "I just... I'm so easily frustrated all the time."

Yoongi hears the wood in his own bed squeek. _Since when did he step out of his bed?_ is asked at the back of his head. Negative thoughts are still overpowering his faint curiosity and he continues speaking. "Didn't you hate it when I lashed out on you? And Jimin and Taehyung? It feels like I'm using you all. I'm fucking using people just because I'm frustrated."

"Sssh," Hoseok hushes him as he sets himself behind Yoongi's back. "You're not using us..." Slender hands stroke Yoongi's shoulders, slowly and careful. _He must be thinking of my wounds._ "You're not using us at all. Didn't I tell you you can always come to us for help?" Yoongi feels his chin getting tipped up and he looks to his side, nearly bumping noses with Hoseok.

Yoongi, voice lost, just licks his own lips and nods.

"Exactly." A hand runs through his hair, which feels soothing. "Are you frustrated now, sweetie?" _Sweetie...?_ Normally Yoongi hates being called affectionate names, but right now he could use this. _We basically already agreed to be bed partners, right?_

"I'm always frustrated," he says, which isn't a lie.

"In what way... right now?" Hoseok's voice seems to grow softer with each response, and hearing it so close by his ear... does things for Yoongi.

He licks his lips again and grins. "I think you know the answer."

"Heh. I suppose," Hoseok says last before pressing his lips on another pair. Yoongi's face heats up, but in a good way. Not in anger at someone, nor in frustration of being unable to jack off on one of many nights where Hoseok is still sadly up. The latter might not be a problem anymore now though.

Hands slide down from his neck to his clothed chest, and that's where he stops them. They break off the kiss. "Careful... Please don't touch me there."

Hoseok mumbles a quiet "oh" and draws back his arms to move them around Yoongi in a different way. "Then how would you like me to touch you?" The end of his sentence sounds a bit like a whine and he kisses several times on Yoongi's jaw and cheek, all of this making him only more aroused. He huffs and leans his head against the younger's shoulder. "Just... anywhere but my hips or waist." He doesn't even mention anything about his hurting arms, because that might be too much for Hoseok and stop his actions.

"Alright," Hoseok finally says before sliding his warm, sweaty fingers over the other's boxers (he didn't have the time to dress in a proper pyjama) and slip under them. "Mmmh," the smaller one of the two hums. He feels wamth run through his crotch and after a few touches against his inner thighs, pre-cum is already dribbling out. He loves the sensation he gets when his erection moves against his own damp boxers, and he can't help but let out a moany laugh when Hoseok talks about precisely that to him. "Oh? What's this? I think your body really likes the way it's treated right now." Hoseok laughs in a somewhat rough, moreover attractive voice and he palms the tent in the fabric.

Hoseok moves from the right ear to the left one, whispering soft compliments in it and sometimes pausing to nibble on the skin. Yoongi shudders under all the tingles and he whines, wanting more of these touches. He's not even frustrated anymore. Far from it. "Hobi... more..." he wheezes out and of course he gets a positive response. "Of course, babe." Yoongi doesn't even have the energy to laugh properly at the new petname, so his voice comes out a bit weirdly.

The taller rapper tugs at the underwear, pulling it down so the hard-on underneath pops out. "Oh, it's prettyyy..." he says as he trails a finger over the length, getting a pleased groan from Yoongi in return. _Can he just stop teasing already?_ Memories of Jimin from a while ago are brought back at the word 'tease', but they soon become blurry as he feels a hand wrap around his cock. "Don't fall asleep, honey," Hoseok warns him sweetly as he strokes him.

Yoongi is not in the mood to talk and just spreads his legs and tilts his neck, giving the other more space to play with. Hoseok gladly kisses across his neck and pumps him faster, using the other hand to play with his balls. Everything feels sticky and gross, but in a way, that's exactly how Yoongi likes it.

He suddenly feels a shiver run through his body and looks at Hoseok, not even knowing what his own face must look like. _Like a fucking mess,_ he guesses personally. Hoseok sends him a simple smile. "You're doing great." Yoongi doesn't know how to spell never mind say 'thank you' anymore, so he brings Hoseok's face closer, giving a sloppy french kiss. "You're almost-- there, Yoongi, sweetie," Hoseok says in between open mouthed kisses and the other can merely whine at all the encouraging words. The compliments, the strokes, the kisses... it's all leading to over-stimulation and before he knows it, tears are flowing down his face for the second time today.

Hoseok moves from cheek to cheek, kissing at the salty droplets.

Then he says something that finalises their little moment. "It's okay, sweetie. Just come." Yoongi breathes in deeply and furrows his brows, trying to keep it cool as his heart seems to pound in his head. "Ff-- sh-it!!" is the first noise he manages to squeeze out after a while, as cum shoots out onto his own stomach and the palm of the hand on him. Hoseok kisses and pumps him through his orgasm, until there is nothing left to seep out. Even after he's reached his high, his legs are quivering and he feels his pulse go through his dick for a solid minute.

The younger is nice enough to clean Yoongi and his own hands off and even stays in the bed without being requested for it.

"Don't you need help too though?"

The younger one opens his eyes - he was already trying to sleep - and smiles widely. _It looks really forced._ "I'm fine, don't worry!"

 _Liar._ Yoongi decides to leave it as it is though and doesn't question anything further.

"Hobi?"

"I told you I'm fi--"

"Namjoon wants us to have a group talk tomorrow."

Yoongi hears him gasp.

"...Oh my god. What does he know?"

"Nothing. Well... not this. He just knows about the fighting."

_No response._

"Hoseok?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

"That's... understandable. We'll see what happens, okay?"

"Alright."

Still, there is doubt in Yoongi's voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry updating took so long! I've been even harder to motivate lately and for a while I didn't feel agressive enough anymore to write this ;;
> 
> This is the second to last chapter. Please let me know what you think!


	8. Never mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry updating took so long! Wrote the last bits on my vacation and it turns out the ending will not be in this chapter, sorry! Writing style and moods changed too so sorry if you notice a change and don't like it ;;  
> There's one last chapter after this!

"Hey, wake up."

Groaning, Yoongi tries to get adjusted to being awake. Or, well, sort of awake. It takes more than a few requests and whines until he finally realises he's being talked to by the eldest.

_Why is he here though? Where's Hoseok?_

Yoongi's limbs are stil numb and his head feels like a huge weight, holding him back from getting up.  _How long did I sleep? Three... two hours? That's probably still a far fetch._

It costs him more willpower and force than he would like to use, but eventually he's able to open his eyes. Move them to the right.

"Hyung, what... time is it?"

He can see Seokjin sit by the other side of the room, looking through some items.  _He's probably tidying up_ , Yoongi thinks, but he can't tell anything for sure with teary eyes.

Seokjin halts. "Ah, let me see..." Yoongi can see a flash of blue ( _a phone?_ ) and shuts his eyes again. The elder continues, "It's almost half past six. I woke you up half an hour ago, you know."

Yoongi doesn't respond. Another question pops in his mind.

"Hey, when again are we gonna be roommates?" Slowly, he tries to sit up. "Didn't we decide to have a 'hyung room'?"

Seokjin, who was stuffing his shirt in his pants like an old dad, halts.

"Yeah, we can do that whenever. Actually... Hoseok suggested to switch to 95 liners room. Isn't that convenient?", Jin asks with a smile on his face and no sign of malice.

Yoongi jolts.  _It sure is._

 

The afternoon is uneventful. Or on the surface, at least.

On the surface, it seems like Yoongi is only thinking about producing. But he actually keeps getting distracted by the terrifying thought of the talk that will happen tonight. Worst case scenarios come up:

_Will I get told to just suck it up and ignore my negative feelings? That's easier said than done!_

_Won't I chicken out when having to confess I've hurt others??_

_What if people start accusing eachother of things and we'll end up in_ _a fight?_

_Or an actual, physical fight?? With members I don't want to have involved in this?_

_What if Namjoon forgets about it and so there won't be a talk? Am I stressing out for nothing--_

"Hey," a voice speaks softly from the entrance of the workroom.

Yoongi is startled, but a lot less stressed right away. Even if the talk will be about Jimin too.

"Hey, Jiminie." He rolls the chair in the younger's direction, allowing him to sit. "What have you got for me?"

"Oh, I..." The boy averts his eyes downwards and zips open his bag, pulling out his laptop. "I composed some tracks and stuff again because I wasn't satisfied with the first tries, and this is... Do you want me to play it on here first or put the files in your folder?"

"Just drop it all on the computer."

Taking his portable hard drive, Jimin giggles with an 'okay, hyung-nim', and for a while things aren't so bad anymore. Jimin has actually gotten much better at composing over the months, which is great because it takes at least some pressure off Yoongi's back. He'll be sure to tell this the other at least every time they work together. Or to anyone who helps out, really.

Hours pass by and eventually it's only a few minutes till 6. Evening.  _Our talk._

_It'd be bad if I don't tell Jimin about it, since he's been here with me the whole time. I could've told him already. ...I should do it now. Don't back away, Yoongi._

He starts about the topic of the group meeting.

Jimin's eyebrows make a frown. "A talk? About what?"

 _This is just as hard as I thought._  "Okay, now don't freak out,"  _Might as well say this to myself!!_  "...we'll mostly talk about me, I guess. I mean the idea was brought up because... yesterday me and Namjoo-"

Yoongi's phone buzzes loudly on the office desk, turning during the two vibrations it creates before the owner snatches it from the desk. 

After a few taps, he looks to his side.

"Jimin, did Jeonggukie tell you where he'd be around now?"

"No...? Why?"

Yoongi types in a reply on his phone. The conversation is short:

 

Jinnie hyung: do you know where jeongguk is?

Jinnie hyung: id help him with homework but hes not anywhere in the dorm

Syubsyub: i dont know. jimin doesnt either

Jinnie hyung: thank you. ill ask the rest

 

Jimin is about to ask something, but is cut off when both his and the elder's phone buzz at the same time. It takes a mere second for Yoongi to find the source of the notification, with Jimin a second or two behind.

"Did you see this...?"

The younger boy nods slowly. He looks concerned. "What is he talking about? Why did he post this in our chat?"

Yoongi mumbles that he doesn't know, because he honestly doesn't. He stares at his last received message in a group chat. One that has been active in weeks, called 'Super top secret group'. Not many new messages were posted after the first conversation, and the only other things that's changed is people's display names.

 

Taetae☆: im sorry

Taetae☆: its not your fault suga hyung, i did this

Taetae☆: hgkkjhfgfgjjjkl

 

_It's not like Taehyung to not even send stickers when he's upset._

A whispery but clear 'fuck' is cursed beside Yoongi and he's not sure how many curses have been spilling from his own lips.

_What the shit did Taehyung do? Is Jeongguk involved??? Did anyone get hurt??_

Taehyung doesn't reply to Yoongi's text, nor to any of the twenty Jimin sent. 

Jimin is the first one to call Taehyung, so that leaves Yoongi with the youngest. Hearing the phone dial makes him too nervous to sit still so he gets up, pacing around the room. A feeling oddly similar to his agressive impulses can be felt in his bones, but a difference is there. This feels more like anxiety. Panic. Tingles running through his body and trying to escape, but all that leaves him is sweat.

"Anything?"

"No." Jimin looks as if he's about to cry.

_I could cry right now._

They decide to go look themselves. Running down the stairs of Bighit's building, Jimin shouts "Hyung, I really think something bad happened!"

"Me- too-" He stops running for a bit to let his voice reach Jimin. "I might know where they are. No need to check out this floor."

"Oh. Where?"

"Near the dorm."

"Huh?" Jimin huffs, trying to catch up with the other male. "But they weren't there, right??"

"No, we just know they're not  _in_  the dorm. Let's go."

 

Jimin has his foot up in the air, ready to head upstairs, bit he's stopped by the back of Yoongi's hand against his chest. No questions are asked and Jimin simply follows his curiosity, follows the elder, who makes a straight path to the other side of the hallway.

_I hope I'm wrong about all of this, because else it's gonna be real bad._

Once at the other side, Yoongi pushes open a heavy backdoor. He hears a gasp behind him. "Hyung, this is where--"

"I know. Let's go."

Their pace is somewhere in between running and walking (fastwalking?) and their eyes search as precise as those of a hawk looking for its prey. Except there is no prey; just friends who are lost and might be in danger.

Words only slow down at the moment so Yoongi uses his feet instead to speak, using them to sprint to the location on mind.

The two go around a corner and see a familiar spot that's lit up by a bad street lamp.

There's no one in sight.

_Is that a good thing?_

_...No. No, it's not because they'd still be missing._

Yoongi hears a small gasp beside him and he assumes the other boy remembers how embarrassing they were being last time at this spot. But then.

"Hyung-nim.... are those stains what I think they are?"

It feels as if one if the bricks of the wall in front of Yoongi hit him in his guts.  _No way--_

His eyes grow wide.  _Those dark droplets on the tiles do look like blood?!! Fuck. Fucking christ I'm going to snap someone's neck if something happened to them._

Apparently he said that out loud ( _but who cares if I did_ ) and thoughts become blurry.

"How... sure that....", Jimin's voice tries to reach him, but it's all background noise really. Vivid images of a physical fight, of injury, of blood flash in front of Yoongi's eyes. Or, well,  _my mind._  It's fucked up - _really fucked up but it'd be so good_ \- how Yoongi images himself to be the one the be beaten up instead of Taehyung or Jeongguk.  _Wait, didn't Jimin say something about that?_

Absentmindedly, Yoongi tries to brush off Jimin's question with a light shrug; a vague answer to a vaguely registered question.

The images won't disappear. In fact, now it's night and there is less distraction, of course it'll only become more extreme. Horrifying, painful things play in Yoongi's mind like a film playing on black cloth, even if he's actually standing in the most lit spot that's around. It's gorey, detailed and they seem like  _scenarios I deserve to go through._ Thoughts and reality are getting mixed up. Yoongi isn't planning on telling anyone what runs through his mind. Not in much detail, at the very least.

Even worse than the things he sees, is what he feels. His headache makes his entire head feel like it's swelling, then imploding, and  _something needs to make it stop._ Yoongi's eyes have been resting on the bricks in front of him for a while, but only now he's truly looking. And it clicks.

"Au-agh!!"

"Hyung!!"

 _Another time._  He moves his head against the rough-textured bricks again, but it doesn't  _smash_ like his imagination predicted.  _Even now, I'm a coward huh._

"H-hyung!! Hey!" A small hand slides over his forehead, protecting it from more crashes and another hand tugs at Yoongi's jacket forcibly, turning him to face the younger boy.

Jimin looks...  _perhaps shocked? But mostly upset._

"Are- are, you blaming yourself for something? Like I said, perhaps it's not even Taehyung or Jeonggukie who, uhm-"

Yoongi shakes his head, denying the thing asked and dismissing the possibility suggested. "They were here."

"Oh..." Jimin faces the ground _._ Yoongi follows his gaze and sees dark round dots again. 

"And I just had a headache. Thumping helps sometimes," Yoongi adds before stepping into the darkness.

"Oh."

This time with more hesitation, Jimin follows. Since Yoongi doesn't release much information, the younger inquires on where they're going.

More shrugs. It's overly dramatic in Jimin's observations, but he takes too much pity on his elder to tease about it.

Turns out Yoongi doesn't know where to look anymore either. There's a park nearby and Yoongi hopes that honest to god the youngest two weren't there because even if they're boys, they're  _still so yound and an easy target!!_

His teeth begin to clatter, from both anxiety and the cold. Jimin can be heard wheezing, probably for the same reasons. 

Ready to look in the park, Yoongi takes Jimin by the wrist, dashing off. Eyes investigate all possible locations quickly (even the trees, which isn't so weird if you know Jeongguk or Taehyung) but slow enough to keep up with running feet. Yoongi rather would've sprinted so he would say he at least  _tried harder_  but the pain from last night jabs in his sides again. It's a burning, beyond irritable feel and he would probably break further if he tried to overpower the pain.

They pass by a drunk, much older guy who... yells curse words and slurs at them for some reason. Terrified as Yoongi is, he feels ready to defend himself if the creep tries to hurt him or Jimin. _What if this person hurt the maknaes??_  Blood pumps loudly through Yoongi's neck but he tries to maintain a calm front. His fingers and head twitch a bit painfully.

Once the rough, blabbering voice and terrible smell has disappeared into the distance, Jimin clutches onto Yoongi's jacket (an action which is  _fine because it's Jimin_ ) and hobbles after him hastily. "That was so scary- I thought I was gonna die," he whispers in fear.

"Yeah." It's all Yoongi can respond. Words are, once again, distracting; so they keep looking.

Jimin is wheezing, sometimes sobbing and Yoongi can see well enough with the street lanterns by the path to know Jimin is trying to keep his tears back. They can't search for much longer.  _Not with our bodies running on little energy from solely fear and a small breakfast meal but oh god if we stop now we won't ever find Jeonggukie and Taehyungie!!_

Yoongi halts when a tune rings.  _My ringtone._  The younger stops running as well and takes hold of his knees, gasping for oxygen.

"H-ello?" Yoongi is more breathless than what he hoped for.

People on the other side of the line are arguing, about things that are obviously not aimed at the receiver.

"Hello?", Yoongi tries again. "Rapmon, I kno- know it's you- because it say- hah--" Wheeze.  _Is this really an idols's physical condition? Maybe it's still from the fight from yesterday._

"Because it says so on my phone and something bad happened so I don't that this is the right time to--"

"Yoongi-hyung? Oh, oh shit, sorry, hello. I. Didn't know you already picked up. Hey uh... You need to come to the dorm. Is Jimin with you perhaps?"

Yoongi looks at the other boy, as though he might've disappeared without a visual confirmation. "Yeah, he is." Jimin looks up through his bangs with a questioning expression.

"Alright. Bring him too. Hurry up."

"Can I ask first what this is about...?"

Yoongi's heart seems to drop at the next few words. He says his goodbye and gestures Jimin to follow his way.

"What happened??"

"They found Jeonggukie and Taehyungie."

 

"What the fuck happened?!", Yoongi barges in, with his curse word censored by the front door slamming against its frame. Jimin would laugh at that on many occasions, but this isn't the right one.

Namjoon is the only other one in the room. He doesn't respond, swallows and looks in another direction. Yoongi thinks there's still awkward tension in the air after last night, but maybe there's more.  _Would it have to do with him looking at... the bathroom?_

"Wait, we're coming over to you," Seokjin announces, probably from behind the same door Namjoon is looking at.

Yoongi frowns when the eldest walks in - his eyes are wide open, looking not doe-like as usual, but rather like the stare of a deer in the headlights.

Seokjin's bottom lip quivers, which honestly terrifies Yoongi.  _Jin-hyung is emotionally the strongest of us. He looks scarred. Christ, this is really bad._

After him, Hoseok is the next one to walk in. Yoongi notices his arm is still behind the door and he's looking back into the bathroom, as if something is trying to hold him there.  _Or someone_ , Yoongi thinks, having the knowledge of who that 'someone' is.

Yoongi looks over at Jimin. Neither of them are sitting down yet.  _How can we relax now?_  Jimin's left foot is tapping and Yoongi caughts himself breathing loudly through wide nostrils.

Hoseok is still hesitant to step in the living room. Yoongi is having none of it ( _seriously, what are you guys keeping from me_ ) and heads with long strides to the bathroom door to fling it open, but Hoseok aims for his arms, or pretends to ( _alright, he knows I'm still bruised_ ), while desperately telling him to wait ( _but for what?_ ), and Yoongi almost would consider it... But in a flash the door swings open anyway and Yoongi only has to look at the small hand clasping it to know it's Jimin.

It takes 20 seconds, perhaps up to a full minute longer for Yoongi to understand what he sees behind Jimin, behind Hoseok.

He doesn't know what to feel, apart from pure shock. Even if he anticipated this outcome.

So he just gazes. Gazes with tired eyes at Taehyung's dripping ones, at one of Jeongguk's that seems fine on the outside aside from the pinkish tint, and another eye that is squinting, surrounded by a warm colour palette of reds and purples and seems to have at least two popped vessels.

He looks at Taehyung dropping the wash cloth (Yoongi vaguely remembers using that exact one for wounds too) and stumbling until he bumps against Jimin, who catches him in a clumsy manner.

He watches Jeongguk burying his face in the side of his hoodie to avoid eye contact with Yoongi, accidently revealing a cut on his left cheek. It's clean, but still looks nasty.

Yoongi looks at the forgotten bloody wash cloth on the ground, at the bandages on the boys' knees, at Taehyung and Jimin's lips moving to sometimes exchange words, sometimes press against eachother. Yoongi doesn't look through the open door at the bewildered stares the two are being given, as they come from behind Yoongi's back.

And he still has some things to take in: the clothes with tears in it that lay piled up on a plastic chair, the bandages around Taehyung's arm, the yet unused plasters that lie on the sink, Hoseok re-entering the room to pick up soaked clothes and shower utilities, Jeongguk staring at the previous spot of the forgotten wash cloth and probably feeling even more forgotten than the discarded item. Yoongi can feel his consciousness, and with it, his analyzing nature coming back.

"H-hyung, I'm... so..."

Yoongi snaps out of his trance. Blinks a couple of times. Looks up at Jeongguk.

"We're. So sorry, hyung," Taehyung fills in. The two youngest have never looking this pathetic  _and now they're apologising? No, fuck no. Sure I'm angry, but not at them. Maybe later, but not now._

 The stupified effect Yoongi is going through is too big to say that out loud, so instead he keeps Jeongguk in place with a flat hand and reaches over to the sink to grab the plasters. Carefully, he pulls one off of the translucant paper and sticks it with shaking fingers on the cut. 

Jeongguk slightly moves his head, just so, that he can observe Yoongi. His eyes widen suddenly, but just slightly, as all nerves pull tight and the pain is minimising the tiniest movements.

"Hyung", Jeongguk mumbles again.

"It's fine, I'm not angry at y..."

"No, I, I mean, yo-you're hurt."

_What? I am?_

The frown can't get off Yoongi's face, so the youngest sighs and brings him over to the mirror. He points at the elder's forehead weakly.

Now Yoongi sees just how damaged his forehead is; several little depths show the imprints from the wall he hit. It's partially hidden by his bangs, but when pulling hair aside, it can't be missed. Some spots are white from scraping across the brick and others are tiny punctured holes, with dried beads of blood sticking out. Miniscule, dead pieces of skin flare out and are scattered across his head and everything is covered in grit.

 _Gross_ , is all Yoongi has to think of it.

"I'm sorry," Jimin is the one to apologise now. "I was with him and uhm. I didn't cause it but I should've prevented it earlier." Taehyung looks lost when Jimin lets go of him, but luckily Hoseok takes him gently by the shoulder and leads him into the living room, closing the door behind them. 

_I wonder what the others think of us taking so long?_

Jimin is terribly nice and cleans the wounds so thoroughly that Yoongi feels as if bacteria might treat his forehead like a danger zone the next couple of decades.

Jeongguk has no wounds left to be treated, but hasn't left the bathroom still and tries to hide behind the two by the sink, even if the door is closed and they're not visible to the others.  _Poor kid. He must be so embarrassed._

Once the wounds are patched up, they're good to go and step-shuffle awkwardly into the living room. If there was any mumbling going on in there, it's stopped now.

Not everyone is looking at the 'newcomers', but the uncomfortable atmosphere can be felt.  _Well? Is anyone gonna talk?_

As if Namjoon could read thoughts, he breaks the silence with a "Hey." His voice cracks a bit, which is almost funny. Almost.

"Hey," Jimin greets back softly for the three of them.

"Sit down," Namjoon sort of demands them while gesturing vaguely at the empty spots on the couches.

They do so and with Yoongi's ass sinking down in the furniture, the realisation that he still has no idea what happened today sinks in too.  _I hope that topic won't be avoided because I'm all questions now._

"Let's talk," Namjoon suggests.

And they do.

 

 


	9. Forget it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter!

jkklljhkjl i wrote this entire thing minus the last few sentences monnnths ago... and only finished it today. i am sorry, i hope youll like it anyway and thank you for sticking with this story until the end. please comment what you thought of it!

_____________________

 

 

"Alright, so... Some of you might know I already wanted to have a talk with us seven tonight," the leader speaks.

Some heads do indeed nod in acknowledgement, while others move lightly from left to right and back to search for fellow members who are not part of forementioned 'some'.

"Plan was to conversate about something different than we will now, but that put aside--"

"What was it about originally??", Taehyung interrupts. Eyes shoot his way in a milisecond. Yoongi can already imagine how bad things will go if anything gets spoiled about the initially planned talk, which would be about himself. _If the first topic is scrapped, then there's no need to bring it up._

He notices Jimin, _a born tittertale_ , opening his mouth as if he's about to answer, so Yoongi quickly pokes him in the side, distracting him, giving a signal if lucky. Jimin, baffled, shuts his jaw and waits patiently for Namjoon to continue.

Luckily for Yoongi, Taehyung's question does get dismissed. "That's less relevant now. This is a more pressing issue."

Taehyung's head drops a little and Yoongi can read disappointment on his face. _You'd be grateful if you knew the initial talk was about you. Or no... Shit, of course he shouldn't be grateful when the talk is still about him. He got fucking beat up or some shit. Oh, RIGHT, still don't know what happened!_

_...Maybe it was guilt, not disappointment, that I saw._

Namjoon continues talking during these thoughts, which Yoongi is pulled out of when Namjoon's words catch his attention. "...and no, we won't discuss what we just saw either."

 _Saw what exactly? The injuries? Blood?_  are the first things that come to mind, but Yoongi changes his when seeing Jimin and Taehyung's cheeks flare up to a noticable pink.

"I'll just say this: I won't judge any of you if you're dating. Honestly you could date ten people and it'd still be none of my business," - Hoseok is beaming instantly - "but shit, please, do be careful. We're still idols and these things can't come out to the public. Understood?"

Taehyung moves his head maybe a centimeter up and down, while Jimin bites his lip and pulls up his knees further to hide his blush. Seokjin and Yoongi nod too, just to give support.

"Anyways, uhm. Jeon Jeongguk, Kim Taehyung, can one of you tell us what happened? None of us know much yet and we need to, unless you want to ignore the elephant in the room."

Besides the leader's always apparent awkwardness when referring to others, the air in the room feels thick because of those two. Not in an accusative way; it's more because there's pressure exercised on exactly the two people who turn into nonverbal soup under said pressure.

Taehyung is the first one to talk. He stammers and stumbles on words, while the rest waits for him to finish. Yoongi thinks it's admirable he's trying, but knows Jeongguk has more difficulty with opening up than the other injured boy, so no need to favouritise. 

"Well, you see, I- It started when... It started all so simple and we- I suggested we bought some energy drink because, because Jeonggukie wanted to study and we had some time left and he likes to work on a sugar rush and aah this all sounds so silly, I'm sorry!!" He buries his head in his hands, obviously too embarrassed to speak.

Seokjin, who sits beside him on the smaller couch, comforts him. "Hey, it's fine. Take your time."

Jeongguk appears to be more willing to speak up now, but he's also hesitating and closing his mouth, just in time for Taehyung to continue his story. _He'll talk soon._

"So yeah, we went outside to the store and I thought it was alright because we were unrecognisable and I made sure I had some time left and he had about 15 minutes before Jinnie-hyung came by to help him and, and. With his homework I mean! But... then he didn't want to go anymore because he was anxious about not making it back in time and aaah I was way too persuative and made him walk further, like, I kept saying "Don't worry, you'll make it!" and stuff like that. And then... I don't know how but we got into a fight and then that man came and things got worse!! Ughh, I can't remember why we even fought..." The last thing is muffled, as Taehyung's face is palmed by his hands again. He mumbles some more things. _Still too embarrassed._

"Wait, wait, what man? What did he do? I still don't get why you're injured," Hoseok blurts out through Taehyung's mumbling.

It looks like the latter is crying. _Okay, embarrassment and many more emotions I suppose._

"Jeonggukie?", Hoseok changes direction of his voice.

He stiffens, but doesn't shy away from talking this time. Even if his voice is very, very tiny- which says a lot when Jeongguk's regular talking volume is already at a whisper level. No one mentions anything about it and simply do their best at listening.

"Y- yeah, s- o, we argued a bi- bit and." He needs to swallow and gasp for air for a bit. Seokjin leaves to get bottles of water and tissues. "And it was pretty we-weird how we got in, into, into a fight because Taehyung-hyung disagreed with me that I'm a bad student because of how I'm a whole year behind and actu- actually behind on all classes, while he thought I was better at everything and. He was angry at me for disagreeing and I got angry because he wouldn't admit that I just suck at everything a- and then we argued about not making enough progress in writing songs - I'm so s-suh, sorry guys - and we even argued about arge, arguing, and. I say lots of 'and's, I'm so sorry! Uh..." He looks around, bedazzled. "Where was I?"

Yoongi is used to Jeongguk being a focused person, so this is new to him.

"The last thing you told was what you argued about," Yoongi reminds him.

"Oh. Right. ...So that's what we fought about... It wa-wasn't very physical at first but at a certain point I was a buh-b-bit too pissed so I wanted to puh- punch him lightly, but it was way harder than that??" Yoongi can imagine that, considering how strong the maknae is. "Taehyung got a bruise," - he points at his own arm, not per se bluffing nor upset about it - "and before I could explain myself he hit me back. Eve-n thuh-then it was still only punches and light kicks and it even seemed to lessen?" Jeongguk looks at Taehyung for confirmation. He nods behind his hands. "Bu- but then this man came. He was drunk-"

Jimin and Yoongi look at each other. _Could it that guy..._

"We knew because he smelled like alcohol and he started scolding us for our behaviour but then he just?? Got in between us and punched me in the face and I think he took Taehyung-hyung's wrist really painfully?" - Taehyung nods once more - "I was s- so angry and tried to kick him, tried to kick my friend for no good reason, I think he, think he did the same-" Taehyung doesn't nod anymore, but Yoongi has the feeling there are no lies spoken here. "It was really muh- messy and eventually Jin-hyung saw us, and then Rapmon-hyung too...

The- they yelled some things and the man finally got away but we still wanted to fight? The hyungs made us stop fighting each other and we walked in circles and got angry at them for stopping us? I think Taehyung-hyung texted someone and Jin-hyung called someone, I think Suga-hyung."

_So these are all the people I heard on the phone._

Finally, Jeongguk sighs deeply. Almost drinks some water, but pauses his hand mid-air to apologise once more.

"This is such a long explanation, I- 'm sorry...", is the last thing he says before slowly bringing the bottle to the lips he's biting down on.

_He even looks apologetic about drinking water._

"I'm sorry too, I mean, I started it by being so pushy and. Sorry," Taehyung chokes out before looking down, feeling even to low to use the tissue he's handed. Seokjin tries to dap the tears away, but his help is not accepted.

 _Fuck, this is too sad._ Yoongi is curious about what Namjoon is up to, but he looks at a loss of words and even at a loss of his role as a leader.

_That's enough._

Yoongi gets up, taking determined steps into Jeongguk's direction. _Taehyung has two other people who'll be there for him first._  "Come on, get up," he says before pulling the maknae on his feet.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry," is all Jeongguk can mumble to the second-oldest holding him, but actually also to the rest in the room. Maybe to the entire world.

"No, I'm sorry. I... made a deal with Taehyung so we would figh... Forget it, I had to look after you two. But I didn't because I got so caught up with myself. I'm to blame, okay?"

Jeongguk luckily didn't quite catch the last bit of the first sentence and shrugs weakly, tearing up. He's crouched awkwardly over Yoongi because of the height difference, but the atmosphere can't get much stranger anyway.

It can, apparently, get more emotional though.

Seokjin is the next one to wrap his arms around the youngest. He cries, tells about his worries as the eldest - _relatable_  - and how much more responsible he should've been.

Hoseok feels sorry too - _Of course he's sorry, the poor guy_ , Yoongi thinks with sincere compassion -and pulls up Taehyung too, so they can cry ugly tears together. Jimin, face still red, joins in on the crying session and soon everyone is huddled together, wailing loudly, apologising and getting snot and tears over each other. 

"...And now your whole schedule is messed up, Rapmonnie-hyung!", Taehyung whines.

"Hey, hey, that's not the first thing to worry about. Look at you two!" Namjoon smiles a bit, but concern is audible in his voice. Jeongguk is about to protest, but is distracted by Jimin.

"How did you - oof... - get that cut on your cheek, Kookie?", Jimin asks in the group, trying hard to not step on any toes underneath his feet. A familiar cheeky grin is back on Jeongguk's face, albeit in combination with a painful expression and watery eyes. "Oh, I- ahaha, I tried to fee- flee home when that man attacked us so I grabbed my keys bu- but he bumped into me so I think a sharp thing that hung on my keys hit my cheek and- Ahahaha, yeah, sorry, it's kind of self-inflicted," he laughs it off with a sniff or two. The rest can laugh too, though more because they're getting their good moods back rather than finding it funny how Jeongguk got hurt.

"What about you, Suga-hyung?" he asks, looking down at Yoongi's forehead, which is sadly exposed because his hair got touched by various hands.

"Oh, this... It's kind of self-inflicted?", Yoongi admits in a joking way, and now all can laugh sincerely about it.

Once the laughter has died out, room is made for worrisome thoughts. Taehyung voices his.

"Rapmon-hyung, will, will we ever make our albums properly? If it keeps up like this... with none of us progressing well or doing dumb things like I did today... And our deadline is soon..."

Namjoon's smile disappears. He has to think about that for a while.

The others can wait. All end up swaying a bit from standing so long. They swing together; arms are draped around shoulders as they do.

The leader scrapes his throat, thereby announcing he's found his answer.

"We should work together more. I know it sounds cheesy and obvious, but as we could see today, we don't do it as well as we want to believe."

No one reacts, but no one denies it either.

"So I want us to work on the album more, together. We should inspire each other together. We should not only dance, but also sing, rap, compose, write, record, anything we can do together for now, together. I know we have more time for these albums than we had in the past with previous ones, but that doesn't mean we should slack off."

Yoongi can feel an entire rant coming up, but he'll let it pass. _I hate to admit it, but Rapmon is right_.

"Blossoming Youth part 1 and 2 are about growing up, about hardships-" Namjoon is getting choked up at this point and Yoongi quietly snickers, until he feels a prickling drop roll down his own cheek. "And I've... seen you go to hardships.

Most of us, if not all of us, are stressed, or depressed, or have anger issues, perhaps all of those," _Hey look, it's me_ , Yoongi thinks. "and we even have songs about feeling alone or scared. That's some serious shit, but we can't even talk about our feelings without it escalating. This isn't healthy, guys. Our album is also about our friendship, and I hate to see ours crumble right under our noses."

"That's a bit dramatic," Yoongi comments with a snort, rubbing his nose. "But you're right. We fucked up. I fucked up several times, but if I had to be honest, you guys really are my best friends."

"Yoongi-hyung...", Jimin says, full of affection.

"SHEESH, this guy...", Hoseok reacts, while rolling his head and eyes theatrically.

"You're all my best friends too!", Taehyung yells in enthusiasm.

"You say that to everyone," Namjoon responds dryly.

"But I mean it! You're my bestest friends. Truly."

Hands ruffle his hair and the group hug becomes tighter, which is somehow still possible.

"You're my best friends too," Jeongguk confesses with a grin on his face and each member says something similar to that.

Heads bump lightly against each other and Yoongi swears he could feel the pulses of at least three bodies against him; they're that close.

"Bangtan Sonyeondan, can we talk to each other more from now on? Or just communicate in any way? Work together more like we normally did? Can everyone promise me that?", Namjoon asks them.

They promise.

"Alright. I'll try to be a better representive from now on too."

The responses are "Sappyyy!" and

"Bang PD is the official representive though, right?", but fact remains, the promise is made.

"So... when do we set this plan in action?", Yoongi wants to know.

"Right now," Namjoon replies briefly.

"Right now...?"

"Yes. We need to go to the studio. Let's go."

Yoongi is stunned, but thrilled to set things in action - _songs to be exact!!_  - and quickly puts on his shoes, ready to go.

"I guess we haven't ordered food in a while," Seokjin says with a warm smile, phone in hand.

"Or had an all-nighter," Yoongi adds sarcastically. _I actually pull them several times per week, but... maybe it might result into something this time_.

Yoongi then decides to return the warm smile. Things will go better from now on.

 

 

And things do get better, but not in one go.

The night Bangtan had their talk, they rushed immediately to the studio. Taehyung made a quick call to the manager to know if that was okay since their schedules actually were supposed to be individual that night, and held his phone away to shout "He says it's fine and wishes us luck!!" with a big, rectangular grin.

Background vocals needed to be recorded (Namjoon's croaky attempts at singing on the demos would NOT make it to the final versions), background music had to be touched up and selections of songs had to be made for the albums.

Rap line are the best at writing lyrics and composing and can make multiple demos per day, while the vocalists add their own alterations and since recently, also their personally made songs.

At least one song by Taehyung and one by Jeongguk were decided to go on the first album, which is good because it means that they'll promote it the sooner. The two were estatic to hear this and jumped in the air, ran around giggling and shook in anticipation. Yoongi was about to say something about them teasing and bothering the older members, but stopped when he saw a healing scar above Jeongguk's smile. _Let them have their moment._

 

 

And they did switch rooms like Seokjin suggested. 

The eldest two ended up in a room like was mentioned, 95 line and Hoseok were logically paired together, which left Jeongguk and Namjoon to be the last two. As they both are pretty awkward, it somehow makes perfect sense for them to be roommates.

Moving items wasn't too hard, as everyone took care of their own belongings and within a couple of hours, the most essential things like furniture were moved. And that's where Yoongi's building skills came in handy.

 

Just as he's hammering a nail through the wall, he notices a figure walk in through the door from the corner of his eye and before he is fully aware of that, Yoongi feels two large hands slowly slide across his shoulders. _Hobi...?_ , he thinks for a second until Yoongi hears a soft, low sigh behind him and he knows better. 

"Taehyungie, what are you doing here?", he asks, tilting his head to look up and catch a glimpse of the taller boy's face. _Do I have any more dumb questions?_ , Yoongi mocks himself, as he's in Taehyung's new room.

The boy draws back a little, which gives Yoongi the perfect oppurtunity to put down his equipment before accidents happen.

Yoongi is met with an answer that goes against his expectations, which is... rare.

"I- came to apologise, hyung."

 _For what?_ The rapper's eyes fall down because facing each other is rather uncomfortable in this angle, and happen to fall on a pair of arms, that are wrapped loosely around his waist now. There is the slightest discoloration on one of them and it reminds Yoongi of some things that happened a while ago, back when he was still _being a jerk and hurt others continuously_.

"If this is about the fighting thing... believe me, I was irresponsible and you can put all blame on me."

Taehyung shakes his head from the sound of it and then rests it on the elder's shoulder. He must be hunching over quite a bit, Yoongi guesses, as there's a pretty apparent height difference.

"No, not that. I meant..." Taehyung's hands let go of each other and turn a bit, as if circling around an invisible globe. _He's searching for words._ "You know that... chat... We've talked on there more afterwards but I mean the first time we talked there. On the group chat."

"U-huh..." _What is he getting at? Did something happen or is he just being silly?_

"And you know my promise right?"

Yoongi isn't sure how long is an appropriate amount of time before responding. _When do I sound too eager? From when on do I sound too uncaring?_ So he doesn't talk, hoping Taehyung assumes that means he can continue his story. _Man, why must I be so vague?_

"I've thought about it often but- I'm really sorry hyung, I can't keep my promise. It seems too uncomfortable, sorry I- sorry."

Taehyung's voice may be low and calming as usual, but it's turned fragile near the end of his apology so Yoongi can't say it works that calming at all. He nearly breaks into a snicker because of how silly the issue seems, but this might not be the right time. _Is it ever the right  time to laugh?_ "Hey, hey...", he tries to comfort, taking the hands in front of him in his own palms. Rubbing his thumbs over the back of the hands, he hopes the sincerety of his words will be clear. "You don't need to apologise for that, believe me."

"But I... Your expectations must've..." The voice behind him turns squeeky and so Yoongi moves so that he can face the other, hear him properly. It's now Yoongi's turn to shake his head. "I expected it. Do you think that even if I promised to date someone, I'd actually do it?"

Taehyung's eyes widen at that and stare down at the mess on the floor, contemplating how the answer could be 'yes', even though there is no positive answer to begin with.

"Exactly," Yoongi agrees even though no words were exchanged. "You know yourself too well, just like I do. And it's good, because we can prevent ourselves from making regrettable desicisions that way. I'm not angry... I'm glad. Got it?"

He nods.

"Okay good, now if I can continue where I left off your room will be-" Yoongi reaches for the yet unattached shelf below by his feet, when another person walks in. And another one. But he can't object, as there's no private conversation going on anymore and the two newcomers own the room from this day on as well.

"What are you doing, Tae-ah?", Jimin asks curiously as shuffles over to the boy, who's still awkwardly standing in the same spot. "Nothing, just checking up on Yoongi-hyung," he lies. _He lied?_ Yoongi shrugs it off. _Thank you for that. I'm kinda done with this topic._

Deciding to continue building up furniture and leave the others organise their room in peace, Yoongi picks up his tools again. He needs to finish this closet first so that Hoseok's figurine collection can be displayed on it. Figurines, that seem to be taken out of a box and get stalled out on the ground, Yoongi concludes when taking a glance behind him.

The three roommates are chattering in the back of the room, sorting out what items, like clothes and fan's gifts, are going where. They bicker a bit, but overall, it's pretty harmless and nothing out of the ordinary. The atmosphere feels good; _reassuring; relaxed._ Even if it's just for a little while, since dance practice starts a couple of hours later in the late afternoon. _What is free time truly..._

It's fun to have at least this little moment though. Yoongi may love making music, but making other things is nice too. _I guess I just like making things. Create something new, or fix something old._ Images of painful wounds and painful expressions emerge in his mind, but this time there is not a single bit of it romanticised by him. Or at least he tries his best not to. _That's good, right?_

Something clatters in the back. Yoongi twists his head quickly and can only hear a "Hey, don't drop it!" from Jimin and the reaction to that can only be made out as assurance that it's fine. It may have been nothing special, but the change in volume and the fact that Yoongi can't decipher what the conversation is about reminds him of something. The memory is vague, but still sticked with him as the rest of the day was what sparked the fire and caused more incidents to happen among the members.

"Hey guys," Yoongi calls out. 

Being so deep in thoughts, he didn't notice Jimin moving to the spot beside him. "Oh, you're so fast with this, hyung," Jimin notes, before rolling some screwdrivers and pins away with his feet to boldly take a seat on the floor beside Yoongi. 

"Fast? Oh, this... Not really, I only have the drawers ready."

Denying a compliment only rewards you with more, ...or at least when you have to deal with someone like Jimin. "No really! Ah hyung, remember last time I tried to help out with fixing things in the bathroom but took so long that you had to take over? And you took double as long as normal??", he asks with a little whine and a push, before taking Yoongi's left arm and lightly clinging onto it. "Jiminie, can I just-" he tries, wanting to go back to the question he had in mind before going off-topic. Even if the topic wasn't discussed in the first place.

Somehow, he gets interrupted and somehow, it's not too bad. "But anyway, say what you wanted to say," Jimin encourages.

"Uh. Well." Taehyung and Hoseok stare at him together.  _It's not that important really, please move on..._  "You guys remember that one night, where... You know?"

Taehyung now sits down, on the other yet unoccupied side. "No, I don't. What do you mean?"

After a short grunt, Yoongi tries to rephrase. "The day I went ape shit and we started fighting..."

"Oh. But of course...", Jimin confirms that he remembered, with some hesitation in his voice as it's a delicate subject.

"What were you three talking about that day? Before we fought?"

Taehyung frowns. "Your... Wasn't it your diary- notebook thing?"

"No, no, no," Yoongi responds quickly, shaking his head and hands. "Before that, in the living room."

"Huh..." Hoseok appears lastly from the back of the room and kneels down, rests an arm (with a bit too much pressure) on the other rapper's left shoulder. Jimin and Taehyung look at him briefly, and after that at each other.

Then, as if all people in the room except Yoongi have heard something big, their expressions change. Eyes sparkle and smiles widen, though Jimin's is shyly hidden by his own hand. Giggles burst out, and the creators of the noises seem partially, but not too guilty about it.

 _What's so funny? Did I miss something?_ Dozens of metaphorical question marks float above Yoongi's head, each representing another detail that confuses him.

"Hyung, I remember and hahaha, oh my god, it's so silly- we talked about how sweet and harmless you are even when you pretend to be tough!!"

 _...It was about me? What?_ With mouth agape, he processes this before denying the compliment. "Look, I know I disappointed you in that by far but--"

"You gotta be kidding me!", Hoseok shrieks near Yoongi's ear. _Owch._

"No hyung, I mean it!", Taehyung protests in the other one, in a much less painful way.

Yoongi's left arm is tugged at gently, similar to the tone of the last voice to comment on him. "You have, uhm, a huge soft side and you treat us good. Believe me. You don't need to worry." A big grin is visible on Jimin's face and Yoongi naturally returns it (though he's still dumbfounded).

Overwhelmed by the compliments and care he's given, he wants to protest more ( _How can I be that good when I fought you guys!!_ ) but he's pulled back by two arms before he can do so.

The perspective of the room changes dramatically before he lands on his back, or on Hoseok's chest actually. "Ah, look at you!", he laughs and the younger two collapse on top of them, creating a pile of people and joining in laughing. Even Yoongi does: he can't pretend to be upset anymore, not with them like this. _Who is taking good care of whom again??_

"Hey, hey, but!", Taehyung suddenly is reminded of something. He hovers over the eldest of the four, his brown hair dangling in the air. "I'm still not sure if I've heard the final version of Intro! Can you rap the real lyrics?"

"Right?? Can you please?", Jimin adds, voice both whiny and enthusiastic but his pose calming at the very least. His head is resting somewhere in between Yoongi's armpit and chest and the palm of his hand lies flat on the older boy's stomach. Which would be the _best_ places at the moment.

Refusing as usual, Yoongi says "No," but adds a playful "Maybe if you wake up on time tomorrow...", which earns him an equally playful smack on the arm.

Even if he's dismissed the request for now, when skimming through the lyrics in his head, his lips just might move along occasionally. 

_"I keep getting scared_

_at the looming sense of reality_

_Others are running ahead but why am I still here?"_

"Hyung?"

Big puppy-like eyes investigate him from above and before Yoongi realises he had been lipsyncing to his own song without sound, those lips are covered by more plump ones. The feeling is somewhat wet, which reminds him- he had been crying a bit just now.

"Are- you okay?", Jimin asks, voice a bit gaspy from the kiss.

Yoongi can only sigh and smile in return, barely breathing out a "Yeah."

He means it. While doing so, Yoongi can only mentally quote his own lines, repeating them endlessly.

_"What am I doing with my life_

_This moment won't ever come again_

_I'm asking myself again, am I happy right now?"_

When seeing these three people... wether seen as colleagues, friends, bed partners or maybe something indescribable, they are the answer to what he has been looking for. The answer he couldn't give Namjoon before.

Finally the song on his mind nears its end, which is so sweet that even his stage name can't live up to it.

_"The answer is already there, I'm happy"_

And he can say that he truly is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jkklljhkjl i wrote this entire thing minus the last few sentences monnnths ago... and only finished it today. i am sorry, i hope youll like it anyway and thank you for sticking with this story until the end. please comment what you thought of it!


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